Lonewolf: ok Holiday Blues 
Lily: yes 
Lonewolf: 1.Do you experience more depressive thoughts  during the holiday season?
suze: i'm afraid i don't have them 
Lily: im strung out already 
Lily: i do 
Kim^^: i do too 
suze: ok, talk about it 
Lily: too much happening 
Wakemon: not this year 
zelda: miss my family seems harder during the holidays 
suze: yes, this year i got an early start so i don't  feel so stressed
Lily: too many things that i have to do, rather than  want to do
suze: I've spaced out my activities and started early 
zelda: i did shopping by internet so didnt have to brasve  the malls this year
suze: can u reduce your activities 
zelda: that was a big help 
Lily: yes, suze, im trying to 
suze: my friend and i decided some things we will do  this year, others next year
zelda: lily can you bring it back down to what you want  to do
Kim^^: talking doesn't help what i feel i want my mama  back and kids still live with dad soi i don't think avout it and pretend happy:)
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judi: ok 
suze: kim, do u have ppl to spend holidays with? 
zelda: Kim i understand miss my father and grandmother 
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suze: r there compromises that can be made in seeing  kids?
Lily: but, zelda, than family and frinds wud be  disappointed
Kark: I kinda am but know I might be worried about  venting
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zelda: i mean try to comprimise Lily 
zelda: and i bet they would not be as disapointed as  ling as you spent time wiht them and were not frazzled and tired from
zelda: trying to do everything 
suze: sometimes we must put ourselves before others 
Lily: i try to spread things out 
suze: especially where your health is concerned 
Lonewolf: 2. What do you do to decrease your depression? 
Kim^^: my children do not want to see me and i'm scared  to see them:(
Lily: but am exhausted by boxing day 
zelda: and lily you will be happier if you do what you  want and your family will pick up o this and enjoy the holiday more
Lonewolf: Kim why are you scared to see them 
Lily: i think u right, zelda 
Kim^^: i don't think about it is how i hold it down 
suze: yes, give yourself permission to control what happens  to you
suze: take charge 
Kim^^: cuz the boy tried to slit my throat when he lived  here and still says he will:)(
Lonewolf: your son? 
Lily: kim, thats awful 
Kim^^: yes' 
suze: r u depressed kim? do you take anything for  depression?
zelda: I focus on the things I enjoy about the holiday  and rember my family in a happy way and not dwell on them being gone
Lonewolf: so you just repress it? 
Kim^^: but he's my boy:) 
Lonewolf: yes 
Kim^^: yes repress am on antidepressant yes suze 
woz: how old 
suze: ok, good 
Kim^^: 18 bnow 
Kim^^: 15 when he tried to kill me 
Lonewolf: I get very depressed because I can't do like I  used to
Lonewolf: he lives with his father? 
zelda: yes Lone that is frustrating 
suze: i know how difficult that is LW, I try to be  thankful for what i do have
suze: what i can still do 
zelda: i agree suze 
suze: and remember that there are others who r much worse  off than i
Lonewolf: this year is really hard because we are tighter  on money and drew names with kids and spouses
Kim^^: mny son? don't know where he is right now father  chaSed ghinm off at gunpoint?
zelda: I get sooo tired at times 
woz: old memories die hard 
Lonewolf: oh Kim so sorry 
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zelda: but lone rember the reason for holiday 
Kim^^: :) 
Lily: ahhhhh 
Lonewolf: yes but it is the first year I have not had  big present for each one
suze: i find that there are lots of things ppl can do  that cost nothing or very little money
suze: u just have to be inventive 
suze: there all alive and that is a great present indeed 
Lonewolf: suze I have been trying to make things and it  has really hurt me
Kim^^: yes i got both of my kids portable cd players  with marboro miles
suze: and so are u, and that is joyful for all of them 
zelda: one thing i started giving my stepmother and she  loves it is one full day where I do what ever she would like with her
Lonewolf: neat Kim 
Lonewolf: that's good zelda 
suze: that's great zelda 
Kim^^: neaT but they won'tr think so judi:( 
zelda: that could be spending the weekend wiht her helping  her clean house, going swimming wiht her cooking her favorite meal
Lonewolf: this IS depressing me 
suze: i am taking three of my closest friends to the  theatre for three different plays, all of which i got for free for doing volunteer work for these organizations
Lily: my hubby gave me a cleaning lady one year 
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Kark: yes 
Lonewolf: my biggest talent is lying in bed 
Lily: my hubby gave me a cleaning lady one year 
suze: omg lily, that' 
zelda: then lone what about story time wiht them sharing  memories
suze: s best gift ever, lol 
Kim^^: myt sister brings in a cleaning crew too lily:) 
Lily: lol, yup 
suze: u know what i gave my niece last year 
zelda: lisenting to music with them 
Kim^^: ? 
suze: didn't cost a penny 
Kim^^: ? 
Lily: babysitting gift certificates 
Lily: ?? 
suze: i wrote out on little pieces of paper all the  things about her that r special to me
Lonewolf: u guys are all mobile 
suze: so she could read one for each day of the year 
zelda: how neat suze 
suze: she has kept them all!!!!! 
suze: u could do that on the couch 
Lonewolf: what means do you use to raise spirits? 
Kim^^: that is nice sauze i might actually try that with  my daughter thanks:)
Lily: i called the cdn mint and otdered coin proof sets 
woz: judi you give the gift of love it is the most  precious of all
Kark: I help decorate the tree at work and standing made  my hips and leg hurt
Kark: it made me feel bad that I can keep up anymore 
suze: i play christmas music at home 
Lonewolf: thanks max 
zelda: ill tel you i take prozac has helped my hips  immensxly
suze: i decorate my home and really enjoy it 
suze: me too zelda, prozac rules 
Lily: me too, suze 
Kark: also the pressures of shopping hurts too 
Sue: I try remember the don't get too hungry, angry,  lonely, tired and practice as much as I can
Lonewolf: personally I feel frantic right now 
Kim^^: i don't try tp lift my spirits just don't go  around anyone so they don'tr habe to dea;
Kim^^: why judi? 
woz: judi explain 
Lonewolf: well today for instance 
zelda: i have not decorated yet been too busy wiht work  but going to start this weekend and do a little at a time
Wakemon: am i lagging? 
Lonewolf: I had a list of thins to do a mile ling 
suze: i ask for help when i need it 
Lonewolf: I tried to sit at sewing machine and started  blacking out
Lily: 7 sec. 
Wakemon: thanx lily 
zelda: lone you need to take small tasks and not get  overwhelmed wiht a big list and do what you can
suze: last year, i had tree trimming party and my friends  came over and literally put my tree and all the decorations up w/me
Lonewolf: made it back here and pretended I had just come  back to channel to chat'
woz: judi you try to carry the world on your sholders 
Lonewolf: I know max 
suze: this year, my mom came over and helped me get  started w/decorations and i was able to finish by myself
woz: you help ppl in chat 
Lonewolf: didn't get work done 
suze: when u need help, ask for it 
Lonewolf: lol 
Lily: no, not that work, judi, but different 
zelda: cool suze i do that every year wiht tree and  everyone loves it
Lonewolf: everybody in my family is either busy or  pregnant ruight now
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woz: you give so much of your self to others you have  nothing to give your self
zelda: i cant get tree up by myself they have a grand  ole time
atrpilot: ph.no. 
suze: we need to stop being so selfless and ask others  for help
Lonewolf: ok les go on 
Lily: then, do less, judi, accept it 
woz: let someone cary part of the load 
Lonewolf: 3. Do you experience suicidal thoughts? 
suze: does your family know how u feel or are you  keeping that from them?
zelda: people like to help we just have to be willing to  accept help
suze: YES< zelda 
Lonewolf: part of family is here 
suze: absolutely 
zelda: as my grandmother use to tell me quit being so  darn independent
suze: do they know? 
Lily: true 
Lonewolf: and she better not try to help right no 
Lonewolf: Cindy? 
CindyB: I'm here 
suze: o i c 
zelda: hahahahhaha lone right 
Lonewolf: explain how busy everyobne is 
CindyB: Husband and daughter are always out of town, sons  are out of town
suze: is it possible to hire a high schooler to help out  for awhile?
CindyB: she doesn't want me around, afraid I'll barf on  her
Lonewolf: she's pregnant 
CindyB: lol 
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CindyB: But she really had no one 
suze: bet alot of kids whould like to earn some money  for christmas
Lonewolf: maybe suze 
Lily: brb 
zelda: im heading to shower check yall out later 
Lonewolf: lets go on to next question 
zelda: night all 
suze: talk to someone at local high scholl 
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Lonewolf: do I ned to repost question 
Lonewolf: 3. Do you experience suicidal thoughts? 
suze: anyone? 
Lonewolf: anyone? 
Driveshaf: nope 
Wakemon: nope 
Kark: no but I do wonder whats the use of making much  of an effort
Lonewolf: ok 
suze: if anyone does, please don't be afraid to tell  someone and get help
Mooooooo: i did 
Lonewolf: what did you do Daniel? 
Mooooooo: i got help 
Mooooooo: got meds 
Mooooooo: got better 
Lonewolf: to allieviate the situation 
Lonewolf: ok 
Mooooooo: now i gots my Laura :o) 
suze: i suggest that when ppl feel depressed they seek  help and try not to be too isolated from others
atrpilot: ph.no. 
Lonewolf: suze you can't always do that 
suze: want it charlie 
suze: it can be on phone too 
atrpilot: no 
suze: no?? 
Lonewolf: I hate to talk because it upsets Cindy 
Lonewolf: but I have thought planned even 
suze: no, u need to say how u feel 
atrpilot: kidding 
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wacky: I hate holidays 
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Lonewolf: would like to leave country during christmas 
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CindyB: You can tell them, I'll go get a drin and go  potty
Lonewolf: ok 
Lily: back 
Lonewolf: get very depressed and can't talk to anyone suze 
Lily: me too, judi:) 
Lonewolf: black hole 
suze: i would suggest you see someone and take  antidepressants
Lonewolf: I'm sure Daniel knows what I am talking about 
suze: i take anti-d and it has changed my whole life 
Lonewolf: I do 
suze: i've been there too LW 
Kark: When I get depressed I might start to but then I  shy off
suze: believe me, i was really bad off 
Lily: holidaysvery stressful 
Kark: Specially around the holidays 
woz: i will be glad to discuss depression wit anyone at  any time i have had personal experience
Lonewolf: For me Christmas reminds me of everything bad 
suze: is there not one person you can really talk to  about this who you trust
wacky: its abunch of lies holiday u see ppl u never see  otherwise say I love you and u barely know then, tell em things a wonderful even if they suck it a bit of an act
Kark: around the holidays people to busy to listen 
Lonewolf: wonderfully stated brian 
Lily: i agree, wacky 
suze: wow, i feel very differently 
Lonewolf: suze whe I get to the talk stage I talk to  husband
suze: it seems to me that ppl are more friendly, cheery 
suze: that's been my experience 
suze: am i the only one? 
Camille3: you no ppl xmas isn't about uu 
wacky: too cheery if ask me 
suze: lol 
Lonewolf: true Cam 
suze: no such thing 
Mooooooo: i gotta run 
Mooooooo: bye ya'll 
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woz: i have alos seen mu daughter comatos 
suze: I'm cheery all the time 
Lily: suze, what city is this????????? 
suze: u must hate me 
suze: chicago 
Lonewolf: max sos sorry 
suze: but, i guess i'm talking about my interaction w/my  friends
woz: do not be 
wacky: suze send me a bit of u for christmas 
Lily: no, just hasnt been my expeience 
Camille3: no suze is same here in st louis 
suze: i'm just so grateful for my health and what i have  and what i look forward to
suze: that i don't let anyone get me down 
Sue: bye ya'll - gotta go 
Lonewolf: good attitude 
suze: i am excited every day 
woz: i have been a conservat for 2 ppl who have had  depression
suze: i wasn't always like this though 
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Kark: I am going to say good night 
suze: u can look at things in so many different ways 
wacky: NITE Karen 
Lonewolf: 4. Does the preparation for Christmas contribute  to your depression?
CindyB: I'm back, but have to go..great seeing you all. 
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Lily: yes, is hectic 
suze: i'm sorry, maybe i'm bringing ppl down w/my cheer 
suze: don't leave on account of me 
wacky: not depression just a feeling of isolation 
Lonewolf: no suze good for us 
Kark: Thanks wacky, night night. And I will say YES to  #$
Kark: 4 
suze: i told someone this story the other night and they  laughed
woz: as a conservator i also have some knowledge about  the law
Lonewolf: ok I'll tell on Lily 
Lily: lol, what i do now??????? 
Lonewolf: she has social obligations because of husband's  job
Lonewolf: is hard for her 
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Lonewolf: adds strsss 
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atrpilot: suze you pep ppl up need more like you 
Lily: well, i just say no, i cant entertain 
suze: one christmas many years ago when i was in college,  broke and living in a tiny studio someone gave me a small christmas tree
suze: i put it on top of a table and decorated it 
suze: that little tree made me soo happy in that dingy  place, i kept it up til april
Lily: but stress comes when i then feel guilty 
suze: every night i would light it up and just enjoy it 
Lonewolf: 5. Are your family get togethers stressful? 
wacky: YES 
Lonewolf: suze we could use a dose of you all around 
Lily: lol, yes 
suze: thx 
suze: seriously, i had that tree up til april, and it  really put me in a good mood!!!!!!
Lily: sprinkle suze on eggnog 
Lonewolf: great 
suze: yes, family get-togethers can be stressful 
Lonewolf: our family has 2 type get togethers-great and  awful
suze: i try to plan my arrival with enough time for me  to rest
wacky: feel like a w/c user in a house full of  stairs.... wiat that is what happens every time: no wonder!
Lily: lol 
suze: i often lay down at some point for an hour or so  between events since we go to two different homes on christmas
Lonewolf: everyone comes to my house because of that wacky 
Lily: suze, i cant lay down, am running events 
suze: i pace myself 
suze: sure u can 
suze: let family take over 
Lonewolf: do any of you have the  one person has to be in a rotten mood thing
suze: that's what i would do 
Lily: yup 
suze: not really 
suze: haven't exp that 
wacky: yea well I tried that IT didnt work remember how  pissed I was at thanksgiving
suze: lily, let the others take over 
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Lonewolf: hubby and I bet on which one it will be each  holiday
Lily: o, dont go back in there, wacky 
suze: wow, that happens all the time? 
suze: one person in bad mood? 
Lonewolf: yes 
wacky: oops I peeved a bot I forgot 
Lonewolf: high strung 
suze: i would steer clear of them, i guess 
Lonewolf: 6. If you had to chose, who would you spend  Christmas with?
suze: or overwhelm them w/my cheer 
Lonewolf: lol 
Lily: hmmmmmmmmm 
suze: to the point where they either join in or leave,  lol
Lily: lol 
Lonewolf: I give them the I'm still your mother look 
suze: my family 
wacky: Someone with an accessible home! 
suze: i don't see them so much that i'm sick of them 
Lonewolf: ahh 
Lily: my friend 
Lily: s 
suze: i love holidays 
Lonewolf: I would spend Christmas with my dad 
Camille3: my kids 
wacky: I hate depending on others for things I can  normally do my self
Lonewolf: yes 
wacky: but in reality... one more chirstmas with my dad 
Lonewolf: 7. Do you push yourself to the extreme during  the holidays?
Lonewolf: me too brian 
Lily: i like having good frinds at table 
suze: not me 
wacky: YES 
Lonewolf: I miss him 
Lily: yes 
Lonewolf: yes 
Camille3: a little 
suze: i don't do anything i don't feel capable of or  want to do
Lily: i get strung out 
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wacky: so do I judi 
Lily: is very stressful 
Lily: yes, i miss mom and dad 
Lonewolf: 8. Do you incorporate rest and proper diet into  your schedule?
suze: yes 
wacky: Rest?? 
Lily: i try to 
suze: completely 
suze: i do 
wacky: wish I culd 
Lily: hard to rest tho 
Lonewolf: I think we have found suze's secret 
suze: lol 
Lily: what??? 
suze: yes, i do all those things 
Lonewolf: she takes care of herself so she can enjoy 
suze: absolutely 
Lily: hmmmmmmmm 
suze: and nobody wants to see me get sick or stressed  out either
Lonewolf: diet is hard though 
wacky: but for me holidays are a drag race, but the  onlthing I am dragging is my body up and down stairs
Lonewolf: all those goodies 
suze: so, although it may seem selfish that i don't  overtax myself, everyone wins in the end
Lonewolf: yes 
suze: i don't feel i have to eat everything that day 
suze: i take lots of food home w/me 
suze: and savor for the next week 
Lonewolf: everybody leaves the food here 
suze: then u don't have to worry about it 
Lonewolf: Cindy left 6 pies at THanksgiving 
Lonewolf: 6 
suze: OMG 
suze: wow 
Lonewolf: felt obligated to eat as much as possible 
suze: pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner 
Lonewolf: exactly 
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suze: that's why we have freezers 
Lonewolf: lol 
suze: freeze and eat at leisure 
Lonewolf: well any closing thoughts? 
woz: hugs all 
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Lonewolf: hugs max 
suze: i hope anyone who is feeling badly has others to  talk to
suze: and pls ask for help for yourself 
suze: merry christmas 
suze: enjoy 
Lonewolf: wakemomyou haven't said a word 
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Lonewolf: thanks suze 
Lonewolf: Kim? 
Lonewolf: Lily? 
Lily: night 
Lonewolf: nite sis 
Lily: no:) 
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