*** LOG OPENED: Wed Feb 11 18:10:21 1998
---
Participants:
  HandiBot
  Disabled
  gregsgg
  Mooooooo (dse@pacific.net)
  jrt (twyford@sv.net.au)
  ChanServ
  Gage
  judi
  HelloKit (carlym@u.washington.edu)
  Mimi (mimi@lino.com)
  Angie1
  phoenyxx
  browser
  Jo
---
<Angie1> I MEAN 9PM 
<browser> hi jrt 
*** elizabeth has joined #Disabled
<jrt> Sarahs not here shed have the cleanest hands:) 
<Mimi> hi Jo!! 
<jrt> hi elizabeth:) 
<Mimi> hey lisa 
<HelloKit> Right now, Angie :o) 
<phoenyxx> I suggest a topic change :-) 
<HelloKit> Jo :o) 
<Jo> Me erdy and a guy from Canada have all been talking 
    together on a little place all our own. I just came in 
    on Java and found you are all here and we aren't. 
<judi> Hi Jo,elizabeth 
<elizabeth> hello jrt, how are you 
<jrt> Jo,jo,jo,jo,jo,jo, 
<elizabeth> hi judi 
<Angie1> hay how come your names all show up and mine 
    angie1 does not ? 
<jrt> great elizabeth:) and you? 
<HelloKit> It does on our screens, Angie. 
<Mooooooo> Angie, it does 
<phoenyxx> angie, I see your name on my screen 
<Mimi> we can see your name angie 
<gregsgg> yep 
<Jo> Mooooooo this way I can not do any type of 
    highlights would you like me to go ahead with questions. 
<judi> Me too 
<elizabeth> pretty good, busy 
<jrt> elizabeth can i get your e mail before you leave? 
<Mooooooo> yes Jo 
<Angie1> oh ok see in other chat rooms it shows up on my 
    screen to here it does not that why i asked 
<elizabeth> sure, but i would have to look it up, i don't 
    know it by heart jrt 
<Jo> The Meeting will begin: 
<gregsgg> angie we all see you dont worry 
<Angie1> ok what is this meeting i have never been to one 
    of your metting how does it work? 
<Jo> If your handicap causes severe pain when attempting 
    normal sex have you asked your doctor about alternative 
    positions/methods? 
* phoenyxx will lurk this time :-) 
<gregsgg> yep 
<judi> Yea, he turned purple 
<Jo> I will ask questions and you all kick in opinions 
    and suggestions. 
<Angie1> I HAVE never had sex so cwhat can I do in this 
    meetting? 
<jrt> I must be lagging??? 
<Jo> Angie learn. 
<Angie1> oh ok 
<gregsgg> yep 
<Mimi> angie, listen and learn 
<HelloKit> Everyone, Jo is our guest host tonight, so 
    please give her the attention you would normally give me 
    (hahaha) :o) 
<Jo> judi you say he turned purple, did he answer you? 
<Mimi> lol 
<elizabeth> is this a serious discussion:-) 
<jrt> I dont have a problem here:) 
<judi> No, just stuttered around and said, well that can 
    be an important issue 
<jrt> yes elizabeth:) 
<Mooooooo> Why did he turn purple? 
<Jo> Well if he won't answer you ask him to refer you to 
    a doctor that will. This is a very important part of your 
    life and you don't have to give it up. 
*** Ray-1 has joined #disabled
*** browser has left irc (Ping timeout for browser cisco7-172.cas.golden.net])
<judi> He's younger than I am 
<elizabeth> great, jrt, it is great to talk about 
<HelloKit> Well aren't doctors supposed to be able to talk 
    to their patients about these things? 
<jrt> because he was a male doctor being asked by a 
    female patient? 
<Angie1> Can you change the topic in here? 
<judi> probably that too 
<gregsgg> no 
<phoenyxx> angie: good suggestion! 
<jrt> Hi Ray:) 
<Jo> If he is younger he should have less hangups, but he 
    is a male and like jrt said that causes problems for 
    females wanting help. 
<judi> Hi Ray 
<Angie1> YEs I THOUGHT SO 
<Angie1> I DONT LIKE ALL THIS TALK ABOUT SEX 
<Ray-1> Hi, all. 
*** browser has joined #disabled
<phoenyxx> angie: no kidding! 
<elizabeth> any doctor should be able to answer that 
    question 
<Jo> We sat through discussion that only were about your 
    problems, now you get to sit through them on what we feel 
    important. 
<jrt> why its only naturel 
<Mooooooo> If its a doctor, i dont see why it would be a 
    problem 
<jrt> natural 
<gregsgg> go to another channel and come back later 
<Jo> Discussion of sexual issues being ingnored by many 
    docs, for handicapped is important. 
<Jo> Problem is they all specialize now and many will not 
    talk to you but refer you to someone else. 
<judi> I think so too Jo 
<phoenyxx> Jo: I don't embarrass easily but I've had 
    doctors try to ask me about it but it came across more 
    like 
<jrt> no reason to get embarassed about it:) 
<Angie1> phonenyxx give me your e-mail adress I think mabey 
    we could be e-mail pals and talk about other things then 
    sex I for one have never had sex and plane not to til i 
    am married 
<phoenyxx> macho posturing than a medical discussion. 
    needless to say I was slightly offended. 
<elizabeth> it is an important part of life, find another 
    doctor 
<Mooooooo> Ive had both female and make doctors 
<elizabeth> moo so have i , i prefer female 
<phoenyxx> angie: hold on don't bail out yet... 
<jrt> I prefer amle 
<jrt> male 
<Jo> Why do you prefer a female doc elizabth? 
<Jo> and jrt why a male? 
<Angie1> phonenyxx can i get your e-mail adress please I 
    think we would be great e-mail friends? 
<phoenyxx> perhaps I'm weird but I've been more comfortable 
    talking about personal issues with a female doctor over a 
    male one. 
<elizabeth> because they understand and seem to be more 
    empathetic, it is business 
<phoenyxx> angie: simon@texas.net 
<HelloKit> Angie: Sex is only the topic of tonight's 
    meeting; this isn't a pervert chat room or anything. But 
    the issue of sex with a disability is important to many. 
<judi> I've had both, neither wanted to discuss it 
<jrt> most female doctors down here anu/yway, tend to look 
    down there noses and be less sympathic to another female 
<Angie1> phoenyxx when is your b-day just wondering 
<elizabeth> jrt, than i guess i have been lucky 
<phoenyxx> interesting jrt,..never thought about it. 
<Mimi> Angie, no one is promoting fornication, this is 
    important for married couples too 
<phoenyxx> angie: July 27th 
<Jo> Will your doctors give you information and discuss 
    alternate sex methods with you. Example, different 
    positioning for comfort, oral sex to stimulate male 
    erections, or machines or meds to do this, creams or 
    hormones to make sex more comfortable. 
<Jo> Phoenyxx and Angie please take your personal discussion 
    elsewhere and let us have a meeting. 
<elizabeth> one of mine did jo, and it happened to be a 
    he 
<Mooooooo> My doctor once suggested a prostitute but I 
    refuse to go that far 
<jrt> never asked him, but I dont see why he wouldn't, 
    pretty open and easy going doctor 
*** zippy has joined #disabled
<Mimi> hello zippy 
<jrt> I don't blame you daniel 
<judi> I learned more on my own, research 
<Jo> Good elizabeth, it is very important . Mooooooo 
    everytime you sleep with someone your sleep with all their 
    partners. Good thinking on your part. 
<jrt> Hi zippy:) 
<judi> hello, Zippy 
<Jo> Hi Zippy welcome to our meeting. 
<gregsgg> had both neither were good or bad its the 
    individual Network individual and how comfortable they are 
    with the subject 
<Mooooooo> Well Im staying a virgin until im married 
<judi> Safest way 
<zippy> thanx 
<Jo> There are a few good books on the subject. But they 
    aren't easy to come by. 
<elizabeth> good for you moo, i am until the next time, 
    kind of a born again virgin 
<jrt> well good for yopu Daniel, pity more guys dont have 
    that type of attitude:) 
<zippy> Hi 
<jrt> brb phone:) 
<Jo> Ok we aren't getting into moral issues tonight. We 
    are trying to help those who need answers on this issue. 
<Mimi> it's called secondary virginity lisa :o) 
<zippy> =^) 
*** Amazin1 has joined #disabled
<Mimi> hey denise :o 
<Mimi> ) 
<Jo> elizabeth they can sew it back up surgically and make 
    you one again. 
<judi> Hi denise 
<elizabeth> jo, you must be kidding 
<Mooooooo> there is a book i saw online about sex and 
    disabilities 
*** Angie1 has left irc (Angie1)
<gregsgg> JRT what kind of attitude is that? It is it 
    more important that you have satisfied your partner or 
    satisfied yourself? 
<Mooooooo> cant recall the title 
<Jo> Now second question. Have you ever considered sexual 
    therapy classes geared for the handicapped. 
*** Angie1 has joined #Disabled
<Amazin1> hiya :) 
<zippy> bye 
<zippy> =^) 
<Ray-1> I like that term, Mimi. 
*** zippy has left #disabled
<browser> I was offered that once, too embarrased to go 
    through with it 
<Jo> Some hospitals make this a regular part of your 
    rehabilitative therapy. Did yours? 
*** Angie1 has left irc (Angie1)
<Mooooooo> Jo, I think it may come to that for me 
<elizabeth> you know sex with someone you care for is the 
    most wonderful gift in the world 
<Mooooooo> not so much for therapy, but dealing with 
    positioning and back problems 
<Jo> browser, the only stupid question is the one not 
    asked. If it will help you I encourage you to try it. 
*** TRACTOR has joined #Disabled
<phoenyxx> ...something I'd like to ask, hope it's not out 
    of line here..... 
<Jo> Mooooooo made a good point, positioning. How to do 
    something without injuring yourself further or do it 
    comfortably. 
<TRACTOR> LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPL IN HERE HI 
<TRACTOR> caps off pat 
<Jo> Many men trying to do 'missionary position' will get 
    so much pain they will lose their erection. 
<gregsgg> Joe what about having your partner seek the 'They 
    feel so overwhelmed with your disability? 
<jrt> sorry back again:) 
<jrt> hello to everybody who has joined:) 
<Mooooooo> um, what exactly is 'missionary position'? 
<Mimi> it's the classic horizontal with guy on top 
<Ray-1> What about guys with weak arms? 
<Mooooooo> ah ok 
<Jo> gregg, your parter is afraid to have sex beacuse they 
    might hurt you or unwilling to cooperate in achieving 
    erection? 
<elizabeth> moo, if you are a virgin, and the first time 
    is with a loved one, you will work through it, because 
    the emotional connection will outway the physical 
<phoenyxx> or lower spine problems ie extreme pain...? 
<TRACTOR> good liz 
<Jo> Ray that is right, that is why you must have a 
    partner that is willing to go the extra to have sex. 
<elizabeth> what do you mean tractor 
<Jo> phoenyxx do you have extreme pain laying on your 
    back? 
*** erdy has joined #Disabled
<gregsgg> mooooo it said called bumbing bellys 
<TRACTOR> good advice is what i meant liz 
<jrt> Hi erdy:) 
<browser> I feel like I am doing a handstand the whole 
    time , right leg amputated and left leg very weak 
<browser> get tired very fast 
<judi> Hi erdy 
<elizabeth> thanks tractor:-) 
<phoenyxx> Jo: no, and to be honest I've never had sex 
    (yes, really) but I've always assumed I'd meet someone 
    someday and have the chance. 
<TRACTOR> :}:} liz :}:} 
<Jo> browser, what is wrong with letting her get in the 
    saddle, or turning her on her side and doing it spoon 
    style. 
<phoenyxx> what i do know is that the normal position 
    would cause alot of problems. 
*** Wheelin has joined #Disabled
<HelloKit> Hi Jay 
<Wheelin> Hi Carly :) 
<judi> hi wheelin 
<jrt> well ther are heaps of other postions..... 
<Wheelin> Hi gang :) 
<jrt> Hi whellin:) 
<gregsgg> Hi wheelen 
<TRACTOR> hi wheelin 
*** KarmaKoma has joined #Disabled
<Jo> That is why I suggest the different positions. You 
    can still achieve orgasm and your partner also in different 
    positions. 
<TRACTOR> hi koma 
<erdy> Hello everyone, this sounds educational 
<Mimi> hey Jay :o) 
<gregsgg> hi jay 
<Jo> Less strain, less pain, much more pleasure. Hi erdy. 
    You found us. 
<TRACTOR> hi jay 
<elizabeth> i will be right back 
<jrt> I know this sounds silly, but there are lots of 
    books with infromation on the various positions that can be 
    used 
<Wheelin> (: !w!W 
<erdy> Yes,Jo finally 
*** KarmaKoma has left irc (KarmaKoma)
<browser> some have very low penetration though, not as 
    stimulating 
<Mimi> brb 
<phoenyxx> Jo: am I being naive or would someone be 
    accepting of 1. my lack of experience and 2. having to do 
    things differently because of my condition? 
<jrt> and I dont mean porno books either 
<Jo> What is that new movie, we don't have it here yet, 
    Karma Sutra, watch it but don't try the acrobatics or you 
    will have worse problems than now. Only a contortionist can 
    do some of those things. 
<Ray-1> I have a question-- If a guy is nervous about his 
    sexual abilities, would you ladies be offended if he 
    suggested oral sex (either giving or getting) as a 
    beginning? 
<HelloKit> Simon: If they are not accepting, than they 
    aren't the one for you. 
<judi> I agree Simon 
<TRACTOR> good advice kit 
<phoenyxx> thanks carly, I just wonder sometimes about the 
    believability of someone 27 and not having ever had sex. 
<Jo> phoenyxx, discuss it thoroughly with you partner before 
    time. Explain your difficulties and if they are a caring 
    person they will be willing to work with you. Also discuss 
    types of protection needed. You don't need more problems. 
<gregsgg> jo is it true that women are more stimulated 
    verbally them visually ? 
<Mooooooo> Ray, Im not expert but most relationships i know 
    about have started with oral sex and mutual masturbation 
<jrt> and it shouldn't mater how experience or inexperienced 
    a person is, if you love them it doesnt matter 
<judi> No, Ray 
<elizabeth> hello, i am back did i miss anything 
<Jo> greg don't know aobut others, but I am not. Touch 
    and participation turn me on more. 
<jrt> not sure slizabeth??? 
<jrt> elizabeth 
<elizabeth> yes jrt 
<gregsgg> Elizabeth how are you? 
<jrt> I must admit watching things on the net etc turn me 
    on a little 
<elizabeth> just fine, thank greg 
*** judi has left irc (Read error to judi pm17-s14-tier2.evansville.net]: Connection reset by peer)
*** Sue has joined #Disabled
<Jo> Ray a lot of women have hangups about oral sex. I 
    would suggest you wear a condom with all the diseases now 
    or have your partner tested before engaging in it. 
<jrt> Hi sue:) 
<phoenyxx> jrt: net is a good movie :-) (sorry couldn't 
    resist! :-) ) 
<Sue> Hi back 
<browser> to me sex if very visual 
<Ray-1> thanks, jo. 
*** judi has joined #disabled
<jrt> hi judi:) 
<elizabeth> browser, i think sex is all in the mind, so 
    many senses come into play 
<phoenyxx> ....I guess I worry more about attitude than 
    physical limitations...I don't want a potential parter to 
    mistake my catiousness with prudishness about it. 
<judi> grumble, grumble, server 
<Jo> #3 Most males with spinal injuries and other problems 
    can have sex with proper stimulation, just as most females 
    can achieve climax with proper stimulation, discussion time: 
<Jo> phoenyxx, yes but if right person they will care and 
    want to please you. 
*** Pyro has joined #disabled
<elizabeth> jo and there is the osbon 
<jrt> hi pyro:) 
<Pyro> why is this voice? 
<judi> hi Pyro 
<HelloKit> Sorry guys, I have to stretch my legs. I'll be 
    back in a few minutes. 
<Mooooooo> what is osbon? 
<Jo> elizabeth, osbon, explain please 
<phoenyxx> Jo: I know that :-) just me worrying a bit too 
    much. 
*** HelloKit is now known as KitAway
<gregsgg> There was a interesting program on public 
    broadcasting Tv that said more women were visually 
    stimulated by felt that they were being judged by their 
    partner they could not verbally communicate their fantasies 
    without some type of the loss 
*** Sue has left irc (Sue)
<Jo> phoenyxx, dont' worry so much will make it harder to 
    achieve erection, enjoy the experience and work with the 
    flow. 
<elizabeth> osbon is a device that help a man with a 
    spinal cord injury or some other physical problem obtain 
    and maintain an erection 
<Mooooooo> thats an implant? 
<phoenyxx> Jo: for now, I'd be happy just being in a 
    relationship. If they care enough and the relationship is 
    serious enough there is plenty of time. 
<phoenyxx> :-) 
<Jo> greg many men have ego problems, they don't want to 
    think their woman is dreaming of another man, movie star 
    or whatever when they are making love, even if they are 
    dreaming of Marilyn Monroe. 
<browser> I have spina bifida and I have to have the 
    visual to make up for a lack of sensitivity 
<Pyro> i like my speakerphone, when someone hangs up it 
    automatically hangs up :) 
*** TRACTOR has left irc (TRACTOR)
<Jo> phoenyxx, you gotta work on it. Meet people and 
    develope a caring relationship then go to the sex when you 
    are both ready. 
<gregsgg> osbon? is it And elictronical device ? 
<elizabeth> no moo it is a small machine that helps blood 
    to enter the mail organ, than a ring is placed on the 
    penis to maintain, it is very common 
<Amazin1> bye all.....take care 
*** Amazin1 has left #disabled
<judi> Lower back problems plus multiple joints with 
    arthritis makes anything difficult 
<phoenyxx> Jo: good advice :-) 
<jrt> until recently the only sex I wanted was to give 
    John a hand job, I was going through early change of life 
    because of the tablets that I was on 
<Mimi> in response to Jo's question, well, i've had one 
    orgasm during sex in my whole life, but i find it very 
    hard to accept relying on manual stimulation every time. i 
    feel like i'm missing everything 
<Mooooooo> Jo, did you have any experience with what i 
    asked you about last month. About teaching parapalegics to 
    have orgasms via stimulation of non sexual areas? 
<Jo> Yes I have seen them advertised in magazines. I have 
    heard it works well. Principal same as woman sucking on 
    penis. I am being frank an open so don't snigger. 
<browser> I just read about that on the net elizabeth 
<elizabeth> yes, they are expensive browser, but you can 
    get them at any sex store for about twenty five bucks 
<Jo> Mimi, relax, enjoy sex, talk to your partner and let 
    him know what you like, what turns you on and ask him to 
    do that. Sex is two people working together to obtain 
    mutual satisfaction. 
<Mimi> Jo, in order for him to come he has to physically 
    hurt me...how can I enjoy that? 
<Jo> Moooooo yes we have many erogenous zones on our body. 
    You can stimulate by touching other areas.. 
<Mooooooo> There is also the Sybian (for women) and Venus 
    (for men) 
<gregsgg> While trying to my wife was emphasizing that she 
    seemed more worried that to admit she was was to admit 
    that she loved another man 
<Jo> Mimi that is not normal sex, he needs couseling 
    before you wind up dead. 
<Mimi> I don't mean abuse 
<gregsgg> mimi is it that painfull? 
<jrt> its still ot normal though 
<jrt> not 
<judi> What about your needs, Mimi? 
<Mimi> he just has to...sorry about this guys...pound me so 
    hard that it hurts, otherwise he can't come 
<Jo> Mimi you should be able to tease him to the point 
    that he could climax if you ran you little finger over 
    his penis. 
<elizabeth> mimi, do you mean, he likes to hurt you 
<Ray-1> Regardless, mimi. Does he know he hurts you? 
<Mimi> no, lisa 
<elizabeth> jo you are so right 
*** KitAway is now known as HelloKit
<Mimi> i've told him 
<Jo> Make him wait longer to penetrate you. Stimulate him 
    so much he is ready to explode then let him enter you, 
    that way he can be gentler. 
<elizabeth> can i say something here 
<Mimi> anyway this has nothing to do with disability...so 
    I'm out of order here 
*** Pyro has left #disabled
<gregsgg> How many people here have pain issues directly 
    related to sex? 
<Mimi> sorry 
<Jo> Either manupulate him by hand or orally, built him up 
    till he is going crazy and begging for release. 
<jrt> not with john, but yes:) 
<judi> me 
*** haa has joined #disabled
* Mimi raises her hand 
<Ray-1> Say anything you want, Mimi. 
<Mimi> helen! 
<judi> Hello haa 
<Jo> Good gregg. Sex can be painful for handicapped people 
    so work around it and develope ways to have please with 
    less or no pain. 
<jrt> Hi haa:) 
<Jo> Yes Mimi you are contributing. 
<haa> hi phoeyxx 
<jrt> and it stops you from bottleing it up 
<phoenyxx> ...so far I know that for me the only thing to 
    minimize pain under such conditions would be to lie 
    still... 
<phoenyxx> .......... 
<Jo> Sex should be a beautifuyl pleasurable thing and it 
    can be. 
<phoenyxx> hey helen :-) 
<Mimi> so I've heard...:o) 
<gregsgg> In order for me to act like I was 20 years old 
    and sex was different inpossible 
<haa> hi hi hi 
<phoenyxx> but Jo I was told in middle school health class 
    it was dirty :-) 
<jrt> not something you dred to think about 
<Jo> Phoenyxx so lie on your back and let her do the 
    work, no one says you can't. But do try to do some 
    things to stimulate her a little also. Play with her 
    breasts, or clitoris. 
<Jo> the old sex is dirty line. Someone laid a guilt trip 
    on you at an early age and passed their sexual hangups on 
    to you. That was terrible. 
<jrt> what was dirty??? 
<haa> hello erdy 
<Jo> Next question. 
<jrt> its not dirty, far from it:) 
<Mimi> they did that to me too 
<phoenyxx> I was just making a point that there are so 
    many contradicting attitudes about it. People say it's dirty 
    and ok at the same time sometimes. 
<jrt> told you it was dirty? 
<Jo> Many non handicapped people seem to be of the opinion 
    that handicapped people don't have sex, or if they do that 
    they should not have children. What is your opinion on 
    this? 
<Mimi> not in so many words, but yes, kind of 
<Mooooooo> I think some sex acts can be downright 
    disgusting but sex itself is not dirty 
<Mooooooo> Jo, I have mixed feelings on that 
<gregsgg> For four years I tried to please my wife and I 
    would literally screem After words now sex As a completly 
    diffent meaning 
<Mimi> my opinion is that this is bullsh*t :o) 
<phoenyxx> Jo, some people don't even think handicapped 
    people are interested in someone of the opposite sex! 
<jrt> I think as long as they are capable of looking 
    after a child then they should have children 
<Jo> I am not telling you to do anything kinky or crude 
    we are talking about loving acts between two consenting 
    adults. 
<phoenyxx> jrt- agreement on that :-) 
<Mooooooo> I know handicapped can and do have sex, but 
    depending on the disability, choosing whether or not to 
    have a child should be thought about carefully 
* phoenyxx asks apologies for coming across shy about this 
    subject :-) 
*** ChanServ has left irc (Killed (slavegirl (3 hour auto update)))
<Jo> gregg, sound like you tried and problem might be her. 
    She needs counseling more than you do. 
<Mimi> true, Daniel...I had to do my own thinking about 
    that one too 
<browser> I am scared to have the responsibility of 
    children, on the border line of being able to produce a 
    child 
*** ChanServ has joined #disabled
<Mooooooo> I have fears about having children with my 
    disability 
*** Acondra has joined #Disabled
<elizabeth> mmooo, why is that 
<Mimi> hello Acondra 
<Jo> second part to quesiton. Have you ever considered 
    genetic testing to see if your disability/ or meds you 
    have taken, could cause birth defects in your children? 
<Acondra> Hi 
<Ray-1> I've got to go but I think we've only scratched 
    the surface. I suggest we come back to this topic in 
    about two months, giving the more conservative people plenty 
    of warning. 
<Mooooooo> Because my childhood was hell and i dont want 
    mine to go through the same thing 
<phoenyxx> Jo: I've thought about it. 
<Jo> Hi Acondra welcome to meeing, discussion time come on 
    in. 
<haa> i get help to be a parent 
<jrt> dont daniel, even when people are so called 'normel' 
    they can have disabled children 
<Ray-1> Bye everybody. Take care, Mimi. 
<elizabeth> moo, but you would know how to fix that, if 
    you care history would not repeat itself 
<phoenyxx> ray-1 I wasn't offended here, actually glad 
    people are talking frankly and openly and with maturity 
    about it. 
<browser> I have had genetic councelling 
<Jo> right jrt. 
<Mooooooo> it all depends on genetics 
<jrt> bye ray:) 
<Mimi> but Daniel...you can avoid all the mistakes that 
    were make with you 
<judi> If I had known about my RA when I had my kids I 
    would have been very cautious, but I firmly believe God 
    means for each child that is born, should be 
*** Ray-1 has left #disabled
<Acondra> I'm pretty new here what this room about 
<Mimi> I didn't have genetic counselling but I was informed 
    of the risks of getting pregnant while on my meds 
<HelloKit> Me too, Daniel. Last time we were in RI, Chris 
    and I were babysitting his niece & nephew - he left me 
    alone with them and Bryant (1 yr.) started climbing the 
    stairs... I couldn't go after him and when he fell down 
    the stairs I freaked. 
<gregsgg> She was so concerned about hurting me that for 
    us having to the just emotionally and physically, developed 
    a strain so hard for her that she was unable to reach 
    satisfaction 
<HelloKit> If he had been hurt I never would have forgiven 
    myself. 
<jrt> Daniel that means that you would be a fantastic 
    parent, you would want only the best for youe child and 
    would give them the love and protection that they deserve 
<Jo> My doctors have suggested genetic counseling and 
    testing to see how our gene pool has been changed my 
    medication are very important. Then you can decide yourself 
    if you want to have a child or adopt or not have 
    children because of risks to them. 
<browser> with spina bifida , people , normal people have 
    a 4 percent chance of concieving a spina bifida child 
<browser> my chand is 3 percent more 
*** fenicia has joined #disabled
<Mimi> Carly, you wouldn't be in that situation as a 
    mother, you would have a safer house, things would be 
    arranged so that something like that wouldn't happen 
<jrt> Hi em:) 
<HelloKit> Hi Em :o) 
<fenicia> hello :) 
<elizabeth> you know moo and browser, you have to ask 
    yourself, would you rather not have been born 
<gregsgg> Hi Em! 
<Jo> gregg that is when you both should have sought out 
    help. In order to keep relationships alive we must get 
    doctors and therpists to include sexual therapy as part of 
    rehab. And our spouses must join in the therapy. 
<elizabeth> i doubt that 
<browser> chance 
<Mooooooo> Elizabeth, thats a loaded question... 
*** Acondra has left irc (Acondra)
<Mimi> browser, with my meds, the chances of having a 
    spina bifida child are quadrupled 
<Jo> elizabeth that is another whole topic for another 
    night. 
*** Acondra has joined #Disabled
<erdy> bye 
<Mooooooo> My mother had no idea, but I know that mine 
    could be passed on 
<browser> why elizabeth, how do yo come to that conclusion 
<haa> bye erdy 
*** Acondra has left irc (Acondra)
<judi> No one has mentioned the incontinence issue 
<Jo> That is why I have brought this up. It is very 
    important if doctors don't tell you that everyone knows to 
    check before you get in that situation. 
<browser> what meds are you on mimi 
<elizabeth> but, everyone has those questions, not just 
    disabled, we all have our darkness 
<Mooooooo> true, Judi 
<browser> I was going to judi , too embarrassed 
<Jo> Ive seen a lot of discussion on killing disabled 
    children, abortion, etc. But if we use preventative 
    measures, these problems won't exist. 
<jrt> but how mauch of a chance thats what you would have 
    to ask the doctors Daniel, dont denie yourself children 
    before you find that out 
<erdy> bye Helen, check your mail tomorrow 
<Mimi> when I decided to go ahead and had children, I 
    knew that I might have a disabled child, and I decided to 
    go ahead and do it anyway...perhaps this is a naive 
    thought, but I grew up around disabled people and they 
    were happy, so I thought whatever happened my children 
    would be happy too 
<Jo> NEVER MAKE A DECISION UNTIL YOU HAVE CHECKED OUT ALL 
    YOUR OPTIONS THOROUGHLY 
<haa> okay erdy i will 
<HelloKit> I agree Jo, but I don't think deciding not to 
    have the child is considered a preventative measure. 
<Mimi> browser, I'm on tegretol 
<phoenyxx> . 
<jrt> good on you Mimi:) 
*** erdy has left irc (erdy)
<Mimi> and it turned out fine :o) 
<Jo> This includes having sex in the first place and using 
    proper protection from disease to if you want to conceive 
    or not. 
<browser> what does tegretol do for you mimi? 
<phoenyxx> good for you Mimi :-) 
<Mimi> it controls my epilepsy, browser 
<jrt> I on the other hand have been told that I cant 
    have any ore children, Sarah is it 
<gregsgg> It was hard to begin with she had childand 
    issues That have the bus and therapy for four years we've 
    or hopefully she had become comfortable and I thoght she's 
    trusted me 
<Jo> One last question, females if you are on meds that 
    make you vagina dry, have you discussed this with your 
    doctor? 
<browser> ok, thanks mimi, learn something new everyday 
<Mimi> np :o) 
<elizabeth> jo that happens to all woman, ky jelly 
<Jo> jrt I got told that 25 years ago after the accident. 
    They removed the highly damaged baby factory and just left 
    me the playpen. 
<judi> KY JELLY 
* Mimi thirds KY Jelly 
<Mooooooo> ky jelly smells bad 
<Jo> elizabeth ky jelly isn't always the best, but it is 
    one option. 
<browser> lol jo 
<haa> no i only discuss sex with my husband 
<jrt> lol, I know, just thank god we had Sarah:) 
<gregsgg> K Y jelly knows not a preferred lubricants it 
    because it tends to eat rubber 
<Jo> There is a vaginal hormone that can be used every 
    other day that will keep the vagina moist and you put 
    alittle on the uretha and it helps cut way down on 
    infections. 
<Mooooooo> vasalene eats rubber, KY jelly doesnt 
<Jo> right greg many substances do, but not KY jelly, they 
    recommend it instead of vaseline. 
<gregsgg> sorry moooooo thats what my doc told me 
<elizabeth> you know what guys, woman far more enjoy the 
    closeness than the actual act 
<jrt> true elizabeth:) 
<judi> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
<Mooooooo> vasalene is also not good for a womans health 
<Jo> I went to the OB/GYN before this meeting and he 
    advises lubrication or hormones before sex. He also advises 
    you drink a large glass of water after sex! kKnow why? 
<phoenyxx> elizabeth: closeness is ok with me :-) 
<jrt> well sometimes 
<elizabeth> okay, sometimes 
<elizabeth> :-) 
<Mooooooo> why jo? 
<browser> thanks for the chat all, got to go, wife needs 
    attention, bye 
*** browser has left #disabled
<gregsgg> That's why I hear Elizabeth 
<HelloKit> Why the glass of water? 
<Jo> I think many women enjoy foreplay and the anticiaption 
    of the act being prolonged, it increases pleasure for us. 
    Gets our whole body involved. 
<Mimi> absolutely, Elizabeth 
<elizabeth> yes, but afterplay is just as important 
<Mimi> yes, please no 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' 
<gregsgg> To help get some sweat replaced? 
<judi> decrease uti 
<Jo> Bacteria get into the uretha when having sex. Doc 
    says always drink large glass of water after to make sure 
    you flush out that bacteria. Washing alone will not get 
    it. This reduces infections. 
<HelloKit> lol Mimi, that's how my mom refers to her cats 
    & dogs breeding 
<Jo> greg maybe in the male, and if was a really hot 
    sweatty time for the female, but that is the real reason. 
<Mimi> that's how JF and I breed :oP 
<jrt> lol yes 
<HelloKit> lol 
<Mooooooo> what about toys for the disabled? 
<Jo> Males his advice to you all is. Good old soap and 
    water. Wash that thing and your balls really really good 
    and pee afterwards. 
<haa> hi carly 
<HelloKit> Hi Helen :o) 
<elizabeth> moo, toys are great, but both must be 
    confortable 
<Jo> Mooooooo toys? 
<gregsgg> Though best advice it is to protect yourself 
    because 
<judi> And I was emabarrassed asking about incontinence 
<Mooooooo> pleasure todays 
<Mooooooo> pleasure toys 
<Jo> I went eight minutes past my alloted time, but I 
    thing we all had an informational meeting. I hope I 
    answered some of your questions. 
<HelloKit> Keep going, Jo, it's no problem. 
<haa> my kids make me nuts but boy am iglad to have them 
<Mooooooo> you're fine, Jo 
<judi> Not mine Jo 
<gregsgg> judi are you incontinence/ 
<Jo> judi I suffer from incontinence. I use big blue pads 
    under me when having sex and go for it. I am not giving 
    up sex and neither is my hubby. 
<gregsgg> ? 
<jrt> congrads Jo on a great meeting:)))))))) 
<phoenyxx> judi- i get embarrassed talking about both! :-) 
<HelloKit> The hour is just a minimum goal... ;o) 
<judi> Sometimes, lower spinw damage 
<phoenyxx> jo i was worried about the same thing. 
<elizabeth> jo, it was a great meeting thanks, lots to 
    thank about 
<judi> Yea, thanks Jo 
<Jo> phoenyxx, I used to get embarassed, now I let it all 
    hang out and educate people. They get used to it or can 
    get another friend. Life is too short to go through it 
    worrying all the time. 
<jrt> elixabeth do you have an e mail address? 
<gregsgg> yes i have that is hard not to you know control 
    your self 
<jrt> elizabeth 
<gregsgg> somtimes 
<judi> embarrassing 
<Jo> gregg, pee just before sex, if you give her a golden 
    shower anyway, tell her it is a bonus, new twist on sex. 
<HelloKit> Aww man, look what you guys did... 
* HelloKit takes off behind her privacy screen... :o) 
*** HelloKit is now known as LitterBox
<gregsgg> lol 
<Jo> I knew if we talked about that she would have to 
    make a trip to the littler box. 
* jrt whips the steam built up off the screen:) 
<Jo> We should have gotten together and run a lottery on 
    how long she would take it. 
<Mimi> Do we have to quit? 
<judi> lol 
<jrt> no 
<Mooooooo> Well one of these days I hope to put all this 
    into practice 
<phoenyxx> off topic for a sec, but I need to ask- who 
    was that angie person on here earlier? I got the 
    impression she was causing problems. 
<gregsgg> Friday Frank that it harder sometimes to adjust, 
    because medication stress and fatigue all adds up for males 
<jrt> you will daniel, you will:) 
<Mimi> personally it's nothing to shout about Daniel :o/ 
<Jo> no you can discuss all you want as part of you 
    normal talk. I just got you started. 
<Jo> gregg, medication, stess and fatigue do the same 
    things to females. At times we can't climax because we are 
    just to tired, doped up, or stressed out. Not just male 
    problem. 
<Mooooooo> Only worry is will it be as pleasurable with a 
    partner as it is without one 
<judi> I wondered that too Simon 
<jrt> I'm not pheonyxx 
<jrt> sure 
<elizabeth> lol, moo a thousand times better 
<Jo> phoenyxx, don't know who she was but she went away 
    when ignored. 
<Mimi> have any of you girls ever had to bring up the 
    issue of...ahem...toys...with your partner? 
<jrt> one day I will learn to type and put sentances 
    togeather:) 
<Jo> Moooooooo it is for me. It is for ferret face. 
<elizabeth> mimi, i have, they are fun 
<gregsgg> Also but it not as embarrassing also probably 
    just has frustrating 
<phoenyxx> Jo...she seemed offended at the topic, then when 
    I made a joke she immediately wanted my email address. 
*** LitterBox is now known as HelloKit
* HelloKit returns, looking much more comfortable. 
<jrt> no,john is always ready for it.... 
<Mimi> I'm not sure I could handle mentioning it to him 
<haa> my daughter keeps taking my toys 
<Jo> Yes Mimi, even this old lady has tried toys. Ever 
    try knotting a silk rope, putting it up his rectum and 
    yanking it out as he climaxes. 
<Mooooooo> Mimi, when i win the lotta I'll buy you a 
    Sybian 
<gregsgg> lol 
<HelloKit> You guys think I don't go back and read what 
    you say about me while I'm gone??? :oP 
<elizabeth> mimi, just surprise him and keep your sense of 
    humor, use them on him he will love it 
<judi> As intersting as this is, its bedtime-night all. Jo, 
    you did a great job. 
<Mimi> hmmmmmmmmmm 
<Jo> he he he knew you would thats why I said it. 
<Mooooooo> nite Judi 
<HelloKit> lol 
<gregsgg> good night 
*** judi has left irc (Leaving)
<Jo> Inexpensive toy and ferret would kill me if I ever 
    did it. 
<haa> good night 
<jrt> yes I can see me getting into lots of troulble with 
    that one too Jo:) 
<gregsgg> Yet but sometimes you may let him know before 
    you do that 
<Jo> Some women have little glass balls they insert in the 
    vagina and keep them there all the time. It stimulates 
    muscle tone and keeps them moist. Also they can be 
    sterilized. 
<Jo> No I don't use them, just know about them. 
<Mimi> or do your kegel exercises 
<elizabeth> jo, glad to see you talking, i just don't want 
    to cross a line in this discussion, i hope i haven't i 
    took it very serious 
<Mooooooo> cant they get lost, Jo? 
<Mimi> that sounds uncomfortable to me, Jo 
<Jo> There are vibrators, ticklers, different kinds of 
    condoms, some people like pain and use whips some have 
    leather outfits or play sailor, lots of different things to 
    spice up their lives. 
<Mimi> anyone ever try a French Tickler? 
<Jo> Nope, They stay in there, asked about it at docs. 
<Jo> Yes Mimi. 
*** Trojan has joined #Disabled
<Mimi> and??? 
<Mimi> hi Trojan 
<gregsgg> And they have attachments for a cigarette lighters 
    and their cars and will wires going up their legs. I 
    drove class ! for nine years 
<Jo> There is oral sex, anal sex. And that nick fits 
    right in here. 
<HelloKit> lol 
<Jo> Trojan you just gave me a big smile. he he 
<Mimi> how was the french tickler Jo? 
<Trojan> :) 
<jrt> Hi trojan:) 
<Trojan> hi everybody 
<elizabeth> hello trojan 
* Trojan is 18 years old, male and has Asperger's 
    Syndrome. 
<Trojan> hi 
<Jo> That was about 30 years ago. It was ok I think, but 
    I can enjoy myself without toys and going into elaborate 
    outfits etc. 
<gregsgg> hello trojan 
<Trojan> hi 
<Jo> Hello Trojan, at meeting we discussed sex and it has 
    carried over a little, don't let us scare you away. 
    Welcome. 
* Mooooooo had a Venus but sent it back 
<Trojan> :) thankyou 
<Jo> I am 52, been para for 25 years from an auto 
    accident. Live in Texas, married to ferret face for 17 
    years and have daughter from late husband that is 26 
<Gage> bu bye all 
<Mooooooo> bye gage 
<jrt> bye gage:) 
<Trojan> bye Gage 
<Gage> *wave* 
*** Gage has left irc ( null])
<Jo> Moooooooo save you money, box with chicken livers and 
    fur around opening cheaper, men used it for years during 
    wars. he he 
<Mimi> bye gAge 
*** Pyro has joined #disabled
<Mimi> GROSS!!!! 
* Mimi gags 
<Mooooooo> eeeew 
<Mimi> hey Jeff 
<gregsgg> This sacks emotional, psychological, or as you get 
    older puer fantasy 
<Jo> Mimi the 
<Jo> French though it up. 
<gregsgg> is sex sorry 
* jrt female 39 married 1 child 9yo Sarah, legalley blind 
<gregsgg> whaaaaaaaa! 
* phoenyxx is 27 and single 
<Jo> Ok change topic thats enough education for one night. 
<Mooooooo> well this was easier than chicken 
<Mooooooo> but cost more per pound :o) 
<gregsgg> no I just about there 
<Mimi> lol 
<jrt> yes, the children are getting restless:) 
<elizabeth> are we changing the subject 
<Jo> You can let them back in I washed my mouth out with 
    soap after that one and will behave. 
<jrt> I think so???? 
*** LOG CLOSED: Wed Feb 11 19:22:40 1998