Bullying!

Discussion about administrative actions taken in the chat room.

Moderators: daniel, TiGgEr

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TiGgEr
Posts: 32
Joined: 10 years ago

Bullying!

Post by TiGgEr » 9 years ago

Wikipedia defines bullying as...
Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations for such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability.[1][2] If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing.[3]
Now to my point, what is all of this about?  Sadly this unacceptable behavior is happening in this room. A small group or "clique" is targeting certain individuals that have learning disabilities, some who do not and a few that may be new to the group and are not quite sure of the way of things.

They act in the absence of moderators and with the backing of friends, the usual typical behaviour is one of them will say something mean or derogatory towards somebody, then the rest of the "clique� chimes in with witty snide remarks, so what you end up with one person being the target of several other people!

The situation has become so blatant and obvious other members are speaking out in defence of those being targeted, they have been asked and told to stop by the targets themselves and other people, and it continues, even if you think you are joking, when something is unwanted, and it continues, this becomes harassment!

Now the other part of this is, in general things are going well, but we have had a large influx of new people lately, and many of them have seen all of this behaviour and have been discouraged, we have already lost some of these members, one of them in particular was said to be a, and I quote "breath of fresh air" whom frequently contributed intelligent and meaningful conversation, they have now left and it's not going to happen anymore!

I'm tired of writing these posts where certain members thinking that they are untouchable, it can no longer continue, , if you find this post applies to you I suggest you take note, you just might find yourself or the entire "clique" being removed if this behaviour continues!

The problem is isolated to the morning, the problem is isolated to a few individuals, I will be asking the moderators to clamp down hard on these behaviours but if they continue people will be removed, remember it is your choice, and remember you were forewarned!

This is a last chance!

Comments and opinions welcome...

TiGgEr
Posts: 32
Joined: 10 years ago

Post by TiGgEr » 9 years ago

I would just like to add, one of the things happening is a lot of criticism towards somebody who tries to post helpful links, they are accused of being "erroneous" and should be stopped, I am also being criticised for having a soft spot for said person and allowing it to happen!

But here is the thing, I would say about at least 75% or more of chat room members try to share useful information through personal experience or links, it is up to the person seeking advice to take what is offered and see if it is applicable to their unique situation or discard if it is not.

We cannot condemn one person for or doing something that the majority of us do regularly. I frequently post what I hope are helpful links, I do my best with the information given but I am never 100% sure it is exactly what that person needs, that's for them to decide.

It's not one rule for us and one rule for others, if I was to demand that these links were to be stopped, it will have to go for everybody!

Ragman
Posts: 84
Joined: 10 years ago

Post by Ragman » 9 years ago

Bullying is around often enough in the wide world, we certainly don't want in the safe environment of the chatroom.

anna
Posts: 2
Joined: 9 years ago

Post by anna » 9 years ago

I would like to say that when a moderator openly sees and reads a bully "at work" stirring people up in the chat room. Or when a moderator has  numerous complaints about said bully. That the moderator confront the perpetrator  and warn them one time to stop either by ignoring the person or people the bully is having issues with. Or for the bully to volunteer to leave for 24 hours to cool off. If the perpatrator (bully) does not put on ignore the person or persons within the problem as told by the moderator then the bully is immediately banned...do not pass go or collect 200 dollars. This chat room is for fun and support and discussions and is not for stalkers and bullies and people with control issues. Stop the problem fast and efficiently when proof is available. This is not grade school or the play ground folks we are adults. Adults whom do not need a babysitter. Pesonally I enjoy the people and conversations within this chat room and find it sad when it is disrupted by a bully. Keep this room safe! Thank you too the volunteer moderators who ''baby sit" daily lol. These are my opinions.

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