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The attack mentality revisited!

Discussion about administrative actions taken in the chat room.

Moderators: daniel, TiGgEr

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TiGgEr
Posts: 30
Joined: 5 years ago

The attack mentality revisited!

Post by TiGgEr » 5 years ago

so this topic originated with Daniel not long before his departure, you can read the original here [url=http://.disabilities-r-us.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3]http://.disabilities-r-us.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3[/url]

but today I received an e-mail from a moderator who expressed in a letter addressed to all certain things which have made necessary to revive the topic, now before I post this letter I would like to say great efforts are being made to combat this mentality, people have been banned temporarily, a new moderator has been added, yet to great disappointment as you will see in the following letter by said moderator the mentality seems to have endured, especially at a certain time of day!
Here is the letter addressed to all...

Subject: Disappointment.

I have been disappointed in room because of a few things lately. As the room is open for pretty much any talk there is a lot of joking that goes on. Many things are said through affection between friends. When these things end up being offensive to the other person, it affects the whole spirit in which the room was made, for a safe place for friends to come and hopefully enjoy themselves. Administration has been saying since he arrived to use ignore feature if you have trouble with someone, we are adults, just ignore, it is that easy.
The other thing i see is new people coming in. Although there are a lot of predators out there, many newcomers to room have no idea what to say or how to act. I have watched many times while a newcomers says something that sets someone off, just to be cornered by many chatters. I am sure many do not come back, how many of them really needed this site?
These things have disappointed me, we are all adults, doing what we can to be as happy as we can. There is no need to make other chatters uncomfortable, especially intentionally.  I am not saying that everyone does this and it doesn't happen all the time! I am saying when i does happen, people leave, get discouraged and the general mood of room goes down. Everyone in room is important to me and I hope that everyone can work together to make chatting more fun for everyone!
Thanks for letting me vent.                                          Dude



something to think about, I can go into specifics and give examples if necessary, but please, let's try together as a group to be better than we have been, this attack mentality is no good and reflects very poorly on all of us.
We can do better!
Last edited by TiGgEr on Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

daniel
Site Admin
Posts: 55
Joined: 14 years ago
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Post by daniel » 5 years ago

I'm going to expand upon this myself.

It has come to my attention that some members are claiming to be in direct contact with me in regard to room policies.  You should consider those rumors for what they are: Lies.

Since leaving, I have only been contacted by 4 people and I will even name them.  Mona and I have talked on the phone.  I should remind everyone that Mona and I are close personal friends.  Cat contacted me out of concern for my personal well-being and Donna has expressed a desire for a re-match playing Acro.  Robert once sent me a single Facebook message with a nice picture of Susan but nothing else.  That's it.

The only other person in contact with me on a regular basis is Derek, and for that, let me make something perfectly clear to all.  Derek does not come to me asking permission for anything.  Derek is the Administrator.  When I was still coming to the room, I deferred to him.  If someone doesn't believe that, then they sure as hell don't know me.  Derek comes to me for 3 reasons only.  He is my friend; he (like any competent administrator) asks my thoughts based on my 17 years of experience; and for the more technical things involving network security.  He doesn't need my permission for anything and he does not ever ask for it.  Just the same, he doesn't get any marching orders from me.

Some people may not like the decisions he makes, but that isn't anything new.  People didn't like the decisions I made either and they spread so many lies and hateful words to me and about me that I left the room and have never returned.  Don't make that same mistake with Derek.

Daniel
Last edited by daniel on Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

daniel
Site Admin
Posts: 55
Joined: 14 years ago
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Post by daniel » 5 years ago

This afternoon, while performing some maintenance on the server (yes, I still do this for Derek)  I found that I am still a subject of discussion and target of insults.  To be specific, a user suggested that favoritism is showed to people who donate.  The more you donate, the better you're treated?  Is that it?

I would like to point out that I have refunded quite a few very large donations because they were made by problem members.  Three years ago, I rejected a $20,000 cash donation because the member also demanded to be made a moderator.  This was real money from a real person, not some random bullshitter.

If you have been around long enough, you will also have first hand knowledge that almost all of the largest donors to the site have ended up getting permanently banned because they thought it earned them special favors.

Donations to Disabilities-R-Us only earn you two things.  You earn a thank you and you earn the personal self-respect that comes from helping to maintain your community.  That's it.  Over the lifetime of the site, total donations made by members have covered just a small few percent of the expenses (3% to 4% tops) I have personally paid out of my own pocket.  How much favoritism does one really expect to be able to buy?

I would also like to point out that the room administrator (Derek/TiGgEr) and moderators do not have any knowledge of who does or does not donate.  That information is confidential and only known to me.

For those who continue to disparage my character in my absence, you have pretty much cemented my decision to leave.  I think the fact that I have not abused my capabilities and simply banned all the people who have been attacking me should say enough about my character.  I think the fact I have not just turned everything off should say enough about my character.

Daniel
Last edited by daniel on Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tawney
Posts: 21
Joined: 5 years ago
Location: Ontario, Canada

Post by Tawney » 5 years ago

Your character is not in question with me and I am thankful for you allowing the site to remain open.

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