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Pinkbutterfly

Discussion about administrative actions taken in the chat room.

Moderators: daniel, TiGgEr

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daniel
Site Admin
Posts: 55
Joined: 14 years ago
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Pinkbutterfly

Post by daniel » 5 years ago

Regina asked on our Facebook page about the status of Pinkbutterfly.  I decided to reply here because it's easier for me.  Regina, THANK YOU!  I mean that seriously.  You're the first person to actually ask.  Others just decided to spread bullshit rumors instead of just asking TiGgEr or myself.  Once again you have earned my respect.

Regina asked the following:
I heard that Pinky had a post here, wanted to read it, but can not find it. Was it deleted? If yes, why? I thought it's a democratic open and honest page of the dru for all dru members, so we all can get to know what's up in the world and our room. Can I please as the rest of us get to read Pinky 's post? Can you "publish it back"?

It’s not possible to undelete the post but I do still have it saved from the notice Facebook sent me when it was posted.

Princess Jasmine Ramos (aka Pinkbutterfly) posted the following:
I will not be returning to DRU for reasons of no longer feeling cherished, important, nor wanted. I'm thankful for meeting some great people and having some good laughs. Daniel, thank you for letting me in at 17 because you could have turned me away. I hope DRU continues to succeed and help people. Farewell.

First of all, Derek and I both really like Jasmine.  She’s a nice young lady.

Anyone who has taken the time to read the chat room policies knows that we have always had “Disabilities-R-Us No-Nonsense Temper Tantrum Policy.�

Disabilities-R-Us No-Nonsense Temper Tantrum Policy
If you have a temper tantrum and say that you are never coming back again or if you demand your account access to be removed, it will be.  If you ask to be banned, you will be.  If you deserve to be banned, you will be.  Keep in mind that even if soon after you feel all happy and shiny again and request to have your access and account restored, sorry, it's probably not going to happen.  Come to terms with it.

Four (4) times before (on dates July 26, 2013; July 31, 2013; August 24, 2013 and February 19, 2014) she has Taylor Swifted the chat room (we are never ever ever getting back together.)  Each time she quite publicly stated that she would never be returning again because of some minor social infraction inflicted by another person.  The policy above can’t be any clearer.  All four times she was allowed to come back.  She was never banned, she quit.  Her wish was granted.

It doesn't matter that ALL of the users she was having issues with were permanently banned within the hour, she wanted to be "cherished" while we did it.

When you very publicly quit the room, you also quit the Facebook group and this very forum too.  Quitting is quitting and you don't get to decide the terms of such after you have already done it.  Go see the membership page for our Facebook group.  It says "this group is only for current and alumni members of Disabilities-R-Us" and when you quit, you’re not even considered an alumni anymore.  She was aware of all of this because she did it four times before.  Again, SHE QUIT with a whole lot of fanfare.

It has also been long standing policy to delete all such posts from Facebook.  We do the exact same thing for people who make direct explicit suicide threats; eg. "if you don’t do this I will kill myself."  We don't want the drama.

Just because I am no longer the administrator doesn't mean that those rules suddenly disappeared.  Every single rule that was in effect while I was administrator is still in effect until Derek decides to change them.  That is how transitions of power work in the real world.  I did consult with him and he agreed this is the proper reaction to her action.

Some might argue that the Temper Tantrum Policy is a bad idea but it is the only thing keeping out a lot of really bad people.  If it's repealed, those people will be allowed back and I can guarantee you that everyone will be unhappy with their presence.

This is my own personal reply, not the official response.  Any official response will come from Derek if anything I said was out of line.

Daniel
Last edited by daniel on Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

TiGgEr
Posts: 30
Joined: 5 years ago

Post by TiGgEr » 5 years ago

This is correct, I totally agreed upon the action taken, which was not a decision that was easy to make. We all need to be held to the same rules, after all we are a social group, and without order and accountability chaos would probably ensue, which brings me to another point, thank you Regina for bringing this to us directly instead of helping perpetuate rumours and lies...
The dis-r-us team has always been very clear and forward regarding room actions, the reason to most actions, particularly large ones can be found here on this forum, so I would like to ask everybody to please cover do not participate in the spreading of these rumours and lies and ask either one of us directly or wait for a post to be made on the forum.
Thank you
Tigger/Derek
Last edited by TiGgEr on Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

donna

Post by donna » 5 years ago

She is a very nice person -- had no idea this was going on.  I also had no idea she was 17! That's my son's age!  Thinking bout my son and how immature he is, I would say this action is very impulsive  -  like my son.  You only learn things by making mistakes.  Being impulsive can lead to mistakes.  Unfortunately this may be the only way she learns. I hope she does.....She is a very nice person and I wish her well.....

daniel
Site Admin
Posts: 55
Joined: 14 years ago
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Post by daniel » 5 years ago

She was a month short of 18 when she first started coming in but because she was so bright I let her stay.  For her safety (and until her birthday,) I removed her ability to talk with anyone in private and she could not see anything privately sent to her.  I doubt this will ever be done again.
Last edited by daniel on Sun Mar 23, 2014 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

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