First off, a huge thanks to anyone and everyone who volunteers to be a moderator on any site that includes more than a handful of people. As someone who was an administrator and moderator for a growing home school support site, I can attest that it is a difficult and sometimes unrewarding job. Drama is always going to exist, and on various levels, as long as there is more than 1 person present.
But it is not just the "civilians" who are at fault here.
What follows is some of my personal experience, but I know of a few others who have also mentioned that they, too, have experienced the same. Plus, I have seen it occur more and more often in the main chat room.
In the last month or so I have been the recipient of some "scolding" from 3 different moderators, and, to start off with, until I asked each to do so in the future in PM, this was done in the main room. (I have yet to say anything to the 3rd person, since that just happened the other morning.)
Now, we all know that DRU needs more moderators, especially during the busiest times, but it seems no one wants to volunteer for this thankless job; therefore, those who are here are overworked and exhausted, and when that happens mistakes do occur.
I do get that. Most of us get that.
But some of these mistakes can be avoided if before hitting "SEND" the moderator makes sure that what is being addressed is valid, it is deserved, and most importantly, the recipient actually knows what the moderator is scolding them for. If someone questions the scold, such as with: ?, HUH? etc., and keeps asking what they did wrong, and the moderator cannot or will not tell them, then how are we supposed to know what we did wrong?
And just making a blanket statement, a crude remark, etc., where even some others in the room are going, HUH?, causes one to question the credibility of the moderator. So when this happens the moderator loses the respect of others. Just my opinion.
So I had some suggestions that may be of help:
1. If a moderator needs to take action and "scold" a chatter please do so in PM, unless the chatter does not have access to PM. The main room does not need to read/know what is going on, other than to know that the matter is being dealt with, if what is going on affects the entire room.
2. If a chatter complains to a moderator about someone else please let them know that this needs to be done, and to stay in PM. And if said chatter will not do so, then perhaps that specific chatter needs to be scolded for not keeping what should be kept private, private. I have been at the receiving end of this nonsense.
2. Before a moderator PMs please make sure that what the "bad" chatter is being reprimanded about is actually valid, and not the whimsy or hate of another, and that the moderator has all of the facts, or as much as they can get, and from all parties. For example, perhaps a chatter has asked a moderator a question about something, and the moderator misread or misunderstood the question, and before clarifying... And drama ensues.
3. Make sure that the person you are getting ready to scold is not being mixed up with someone else. Something I know that has happened to me, and more than once.
3. If you scold a chatter and they are confused as to what is going on, then have the courtesy to either explain, or apologize if you made a mistake. Ignoring a chatter's confusion about the matter, especially in the main room, can cause the loss of respect not only from the individual, but from others, if what is being said is done in the main room.
Discussion about anything and everything.
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