guess i'll tell you guys about me and my life
but theres not much to tell, and its kind of
sad and borning ....
Please call me ( MissZee )
im 26 yr old black woman, i have live with my mom all my life
on account of my learning / mental disabiltys. i have been in
spical ed classes since middle school, and once i had started
high school it was called Occ. prep. i have graduated in 2007
i have not worked since then and im wandering if i can get
finantcel help.
i have a drivers licencs but no car, my moms bf has a car but its stick shift so
if we have to go anywhere he has to take us. ...we need a car bad...
as i said i live with my mom all my life... i keep the house clean and she cooks...
she was married but devorced my father. now me and mom live with her boyfriend
who i hate very very much. they both drink, and are heavey achocalices. moms BF
is a very mean drunk and will belittle her and verblly abuses her, then the next day
well pretend like it never happend. this cycal goes on at least once a week on
a good week and 3 times or more on a bad one...i think thats part why
i hate him so much, how can i care for some one who treach my mom like shit and
the pretends he never did it, and thens try to buy his way back into your
favor? he also likes to pretend he's black ( i.e... he know more about blacks then
we do thus this makes he black by default. ) he will never know what its like for
us.
i have no kids, and i have never been married. i and single.
i have had little too no romancit life. i have had sex but only a few times in my life
so im not very good at it. i can't remember the last time i had a boyfriend. i am
bi / pan ( bisexual and pansexual ). i have never dated or been with a woman.
i did fall in love with a close friend but he didn't feel the same way and the heart
brake has made me afraid to put myself out there and date. so i dont date. i
feel my learning disabilty has a lot to do with me not dating. i feel i have nothing
to bring to the other person....
i am a Latter Day Saint ( mormon )
im inactive ( i don't go to the church but im still a member. )
i have horribal cavatys and chip and broken teeth. i dont smile showing my teeth
for that reason, there painful and very ugly to look at so i don't show my teeth
to any one. i smile without showing them. of course i have no money to fix them
or even to get them pulled to stop the pain.
i have a lot of self haterid and i have in the pass been a self harmer ( cuts arms and legs )
i stopped selfharming but the sadness depression, and lonelyness hasn't gone.
nothing ever really changes in my life, and im to stupid to know how to change it.
i have ask my mom to help me get started on ganing a disability check, but im
unsure how far this will go. i feel so lost and alone, very, very lonely....
i have no job
no money
no friends
no love life
no talents or skills
no home
no car
i have no life
this is my story
that i have no story...
thank you for reading what ever the hell this is...
im nothing
im nothing
i feel so alone.
-
willybilly30
- Posts: 8
- Joined: 8 years ago
- Location: alabama
- Contact:
i hope you find a way out of that house you do not need that
i wish your mom would see that too but, she may never
first of all you are not stupid and nothing if you were stupid how did you write all this?
Can i suggest something?Get a notebook and write your feelings.
Here's two questions you can start with 1.what is good about me? and 2.What would my life be like if i could make it that way?
You can even write God questions and letters, listen for a reply and write the answers.
I know you will probally think i can answer the question what is good about me? you said you clean house..that's good write it
There are people worse of than you who have lived succesful lives and changed tge world like Helen Keller who was blind and deaf.
there are succesful black people too like Ophrah Winfrey I said that just in case you think that is holding you back.
Think you could make a living cleaning houses i know a woman who does she has back problems but, she has not let it stop her.
She don't drive either she walks whereever she needs to go
i don't know about relationships i have only had one and all my freinds are at work or on facebook. i have a mom and brother here that is about it. So, i am alone just me and my dog i like it tho once you get used to it it is great.
You can do whatever you want and be yourself no one to bug you about it.
I have learning disabilitys,ugly teeth and alot more but, I am not letting it stop me from doing what i want to do.
Here's a bible verse philipians 4:13 i can do all things through Christ winch strethens me.
It says the word "all things "this from Paul who Said he was content whether fed or hungry because of Christ.
Moses did not belive he could do anything either if i remember correctly he said he was bad at speech but, God showed him he saved the Jews.
I do not know you and just joined this forum yesterday i seen your title and had to respond.
I feel this way sometimes and my mom mom married two assholes the greatest was my dad she is single now and happy.
once, you get a taste of being single you may never want a relationship it is heaven.
it is like getting in the water it is cold at first but once you get used too it your like ahhhh this is wonderful!
i hope you can get a job or get on disability and get your own place.
i have known lots of married people who have devorced and found the joy of being single.
but, i have known a few happy married people if you can get it great
well, i hope my advice goes over well...lots if times people get annoyed when i try to help
oh, i just thought of something you said your moms boyfreind don't know what black people go through? you want to write a book about that and sell it?
why not? there's a woman who did just that. I can't remeber her name the books called the knew jim crow it's about black people being falsly imprisioned. i am going to get it sometime. people are interested in reading stuff like this.
I am white but, i do read what people go through i want to be a civil rights worker someday.
Well, i hope this helps talk to you later.
i wish your mom would see that too but, she may never
first of all you are not stupid and nothing if you were stupid how did you write all this?
Can i suggest something?Get a notebook and write your feelings.
Here's two questions you can start with 1.what is good about me? and 2.What would my life be like if i could make it that way?
You can even write God questions and letters, listen for a reply and write the answers.
I know you will probally think i can answer the question what is good about me? you said you clean house..that's good write it
There are people worse of than you who have lived succesful lives and changed tge world like Helen Keller who was blind and deaf.
there are succesful black people too like Ophrah Winfrey I said that just in case you think that is holding you back.
Think you could make a living cleaning houses i know a woman who does she has back problems but, she has not let it stop her.
She don't drive either she walks whereever she needs to go
i don't know about relationships i have only had one and all my freinds are at work or on facebook. i have a mom and brother here that is about it. So, i am alone just me and my dog i like it tho once you get used to it it is great.
You can do whatever you want and be yourself no one to bug you about it.
I have learning disabilitys,ugly teeth and alot more but, I am not letting it stop me from doing what i want to do.
Here's a bible verse philipians 4:13 i can do all things through Christ winch strethens me.
It says the word "all things "this from Paul who Said he was content whether fed or hungry because of Christ.
Moses did not belive he could do anything either if i remember correctly he said he was bad at speech but, God showed him he saved the Jews.
I do not know you and just joined this forum yesterday i seen your title and had to respond.
I feel this way sometimes and my mom mom married two assholes the greatest was my dad she is single now and happy.
once, you get a taste of being single you may never want a relationship it is heaven.
it is like getting in the water it is cold at first but once you get used too it your like ahhhh this is wonderful!
i hope you can get a job or get on disability and get your own place.
i have known lots of married people who have devorced and found the joy of being single.
but, i have known a few happy married people if you can get it great
well, i hope my advice goes over well...lots if times people get annoyed when i try to help
oh, i just thought of something you said your moms boyfreind don't know what black people go through? you want to write a book about that and sell it?
why not? there's a woman who did just that. I can't remeber her name the books called the knew jim crow it's about black people being falsly imprisioned. i am going to get it sometime. people are interested in reading stuff like this.
I am white but, i do read what people go through i want to be a civil rights worker someday.
Well, i hope this helps talk to you later.