Musings
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lilycraven
- Posts: 7
- Joined: 9 years ago
Is it you who thinks that you are not worth the truth or the (toxic) person who is lying to you? Something that is quite difficult to discern. It is a shame though that there are some people who do and say things to others, about others, etc. because they need to feel superior. So when I know that someone is lying to me I wonder just what is their agenda. What is their payoff. And even if it is family, sometimes it is best to have as little contact, or none at all, as possible. I know, if it is family this can be difficult, and let me tell you that as soon as my parents have passed (though I may go first!) my plan is to sever ties with those who have spent the last 4 decades lying to me, saying horrid things about me, etc. There are so many people out there who are decent and honest. Though sometimes I do like to hear that I look nice, even if I know that I really do not.
Thieves and liars are the shame of humanity that I cannot tolerate. I despise such people, and have suffered by their actions countless times.
I believe that the people who lie in the chatroom believe us to have no value and are worthless human beings to them and so they don't have any compunction against lying to us and toying with us, sort of like a cat with a mouse. Fortunately some of us can see through their games.
That is good, OPG, I don't want to be their plaything.
Lying, the truth, is it always black and white?
We live in an age of identity theft, paedophiles, fetishists and cyber criminals, we advise people every single time they come into the chat room to be careful of their private information so what is the result of this? Inconsistencies... in real life we all lie, we lie to ourselves, to protect ourselves we lie to protect our loved ones etc, but let's go back to the chat room.
We have had liars in the room in the past, some of you may remember Brooke, she led us to believe that she was a paraplegic for over several months, this was false turned out she had a form of body dysmorphic disorder... but she lied to us!
We had got invested in her emotionally, people sent her things, shared things, cried with her and for her, and then when the truth came out it was damaging and hurtful, she came out herself, after slipping up, and everybody was very surprised, I consider this to be a very large lie, it went on for a long time and had affected us quite deeply as a group!
But what about the little ones, and even some of the bigger ones which are not quite so black and white, as I mentioned above we tell everybody every single time they enter to be careful with that private information, this includes location, surnames, as well as digital IDs are (e-mail and Skype/messenger info etc).
Most people are also aware that the Internet is a dangerous place, talk to anybody with any experience and they will tell you yes, it is, so do not fool yourself, but in a chat room such as ours this causes people to give out inaccurate information sometimes to protect themselves when they do not know if they will become a regular part of the group, when they are very new.
They may not be truthful about their location, which is wise, they may not be truthful about their age or gender, I'm sure the women can understand why! There may be other reasons as well, TBI and stroke victims with bad memories may also have inconsistencies in the information they give out that could appear as lying, but they honestly cannot help it!
These inconsistencies are things which are often seen as lying need to be given some allowance depending on the context, don't jump on it, we have been trying to eradicate the attack mentality for awhile now, and have come far with most groups, but if you do happen to come across an inconsistency, watch it play out, maybe there is a reason why, it may explain itself without the need of bringing them up on it!
We are full of people with disabilities both physical and of the mind, remember this, if somebody has no recollection of being here before, and they say it is their first time, maybe they honestly believe it to be so, maybe they have a TBI or something which has affected their memory, the thing is, give them a chance, things usually have a way of getting explained, maybe said person just needs reminding?
I could go on to give all kinds of examples, but I'm just going to ask you to think about this, if a young female was to lie about her gender so as not to get hit on by creeps, yet everything else they have told us is true, can we blame them knowing what the Internet is like? Can we hold it against them?
The same with location, we have all seen the NBC specials, the TV shows and movies, maybe after a couple of months the person decides to reveal their true location which is different to what they had led everybody to believe? Can we blame them?
So yeah, maybe it's not because they considered you not worth it, I mean, sometimes they don't even know you, so there is no value involved, if it is somebody you have got to know, try to consider the reasons behind the lie, were they just trying to protect themselves and their private information?
It is an individual thing whether you can fault them for this, but let's be a little bit more open to the context before we condemn please! Not everybody is the bogeyman!
We live in an age of identity theft, paedophiles, fetishists and cyber criminals, we advise people every single time they come into the chat room to be careful of their private information so what is the result of this? Inconsistencies... in real life we all lie, we lie to ourselves, to protect ourselves we lie to protect our loved ones etc, but let's go back to the chat room.
We have had liars in the room in the past, some of you may remember Brooke, she led us to believe that she was a paraplegic for over several months, this was false turned out she had a form of body dysmorphic disorder... but she lied to us!
We had got invested in her emotionally, people sent her things, shared things, cried with her and for her, and then when the truth came out it was damaging and hurtful, she came out herself, after slipping up, and everybody was very surprised, I consider this to be a very large lie, it went on for a long time and had affected us quite deeply as a group!
But what about the little ones, and even some of the bigger ones which are not quite so black and white, as I mentioned above we tell everybody every single time they enter to be careful with that private information, this includes location, surnames, as well as digital IDs are (e-mail and Skype/messenger info etc).
Most people are also aware that the Internet is a dangerous place, talk to anybody with any experience and they will tell you yes, it is, so do not fool yourself, but in a chat room such as ours this causes people to give out inaccurate information sometimes to protect themselves when they do not know if they will become a regular part of the group, when they are very new.
They may not be truthful about their location, which is wise, they may not be truthful about their age or gender, I'm sure the women can understand why! There may be other reasons as well, TBI and stroke victims with bad memories may also have inconsistencies in the information they give out that could appear as lying, but they honestly cannot help it!
These inconsistencies are things which are often seen as lying need to be given some allowance depending on the context, don't jump on it, we have been trying to eradicate the attack mentality for awhile now, and have come far with most groups, but if you do happen to come across an inconsistency, watch it play out, maybe there is a reason why, it may explain itself without the need of bringing them up on it!
We are full of people with disabilities both physical and of the mind, remember this, if somebody has no recollection of being here before, and they say it is their first time, maybe they honestly believe it to be so, maybe they have a TBI or something which has affected their memory, the thing is, give them a chance, things usually have a way of getting explained, maybe said person just needs reminding?
I could go on to give all kinds of examples, but I'm just going to ask you to think about this, if a young female was to lie about her gender so as not to get hit on by creeps, yet everything else they have told us is true, can we blame them knowing what the Internet is like? Can we hold it against them?
The same with location, we have all seen the NBC specials, the TV shows and movies, maybe after a couple of months the person decides to reveal their true location which is different to what they had led everybody to believe? Can we blame them?
So yeah, maybe it's not because they considered you not worth it, I mean, sometimes they don't even know you, so there is no value involved, if it is somebody you have got to know, try to consider the reasons behind the lie, were they just trying to protect themselves and their private information?
It is an individual thing whether you can fault them for this, but let's be a little bit more open to the context before we condemn please! Not everybody is the bogeyman!
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Cactus Jack
- Posts: 26
- Joined: 10 years ago
Lying is not a matter of how they feel about you, but how they view themselves. Because when they are found to be lying, that destroy their credibility.
“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.” -Ross Perot