*** LOG OPENED: Wed Dec 17 18:05:22 1997
---
Participants:
  HandiBot
  Chan
  phoenyxx
  bubbles
  Mooooooo (dse@pacific.net)
  kb9kyy (kb9kyy@indy.net)
  Gilbert
  HelloKit (carlym@u.washington.edu)
  jrt
  ChanServ
---
*** Chan has left irc (If you seek happiness for yourself, you will find only sadness. If you seek to find happiness for others, you will find happiness for yourself as well.)
<Mooooooo> ready :o) 
<jrt> i think it was going to be jokes or something?? 
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<bubbles> thank you grass hopper 
<bubbles> you're late 
<ScripterX> Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask what the order 
    taker is wearing. 
<Mooooooo> howdy jeff 
<ScripterX> My wife asked me that if I could find out how 
    and when I was gonna die would I want to I said no, why 
    She said never mind 
<Mooooooo> lol 
<kb9kyy> lol 
<bubbles> lol 
<kb9kyy> jinx 
<HelloKit> It was brought to my attention recently that 
    some people, expecially newcomers, may not realize that Fun 
    Chat is supposed to be humorous and may take it 
    seriously... 
<kb9kyy> oh well, at least it fits you... 
<phoenyxx> who, me Carly? :-) 
<HelloKit> Therefore I've decided to remind everyone before 
    the meetings... THESE ARE JOKES!!! 
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<kb9kyy> knock off the color...or i'll knock off your head 
<kb9kyy> lol 
<phoenyxx> yes, remarks about using a Ryder truck for ADA 
    compliance enforcement are only jokes....for now :-) 
<Mooooooo> HAD THIS BEEN SERIOUS, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN 
    ADVISED WHERE TO TUNE INTO IN YOUR AREA 
<Gilbert> Thanks for the clarification Carly 
<bubbles> damn ....i only came on line for serious conv 
<Mooooooo> THIS IS ONLY A JOKE 
<kb9kyy> hehe 
* HelloKit sticks her tongue out at Brad. 
<jrt> get a big fat cane toad and put it front of them, 
    that would scare anybody 
<jrt> hi pyro:) 
<jrt> okaldokalydo:) 
<kb9kyy> ooh! getting fresh with me? 
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<Mooooooo> WARNING: This channel contains adult language, 
    adult content, and psychological nudity. Reader discretion is 
    advised. 
<HelloKit> hehehe 
<phoenyxx> jrt: don't people get high licking cane toads? 
    :-) 
<kb9kyy> lol 
<Mooooooo> tracy :o) 
<Mooooooo> Judi! 
<judi> hi 
<Red_> Daniel! 
<kb9kyy> oh brother... 
<Red_> hello everyone 
<kb9kyy> hehe 
<judi> thanks 
<Mooooooo> ok Carly whats the agenda? 
<kb9kyy> a good way to scare strangers about my vision is 
    to walk toward someone with my hands outstretched, 
    especially toward a woman...they usually back up pretty fast 
<jrt> you tell em.... 
<HelloKit> So... before I start rattling off the ideas I 
    came up with... does anyone have a good way to scare 
    someone? 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
<HelloKit> lol Brad 
<Mooooooo> Yes! 
<kb9kyy> done it before, too! 
<Mooooooo> When I was in a cast after back surgery.... 
<HelloKit> oops, forgot to turn my log on 
<Mooooooo> I stuck an exacto knife in my back 
<jrt> never tried licking one???:) 
<kb9kyy> NO COMMENT! 
<Mooooooo> and put ketchup on it 
<kb9kyy> hehe 
<Mooooooo> and layed across the desk 
<kb9kyy> sounds good 
<Gilbert> Dan, that's twisted! I love it. 
<phoenyxx> ...what I've done a few times that's freaked 
    people out is to roll past a high counter, where they 
    can't see me, and I reach up and grab something. all they 
    see is this hand come up and take something :-) 
<Mooooooo> the teacher almost had a stroke 
<Red_> you are sick! 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
<HelloKit> woo-hoo! 
<Mooooooo> that would scare the crap outta me 
<jrt> taking my clothes off:) 
<kb9kyy> my mom used to take her glass eye out and show 
    it to people... 
<Gilbert> You could screech to a halt within inches of 
    someone's toes 
<kb9kyy> hehehe 
<Red_> lol 
<phoenyxx> Gilbert: I've done that before :-) 
<kb9kyy> hehe 
<kb9kyy> you could come at them at full speed! 
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<kb9kyy> and not slow down 
<Mooooooo> I used to know someone who said they needed to 
    see a little higher so they took their glass eye and held 
    it up real high 
<kb9kyy> hehe 
<HelloKit> lol 
<kb9kyy> i'll have to tell her that one... 
<HelloKit> aww man 
* HelloKit takes off behind the couch... 
*** HelloKit is now known as LitterBox
<kb9kyy> i'l d/l the log in the morning, I gotta get to 
    bed 
<phoenyxx> ....what always make some people nervous is when 
    I've had a conversation with them while balanced on my 
    rear wheels :-) 
<Mooooooo> Denise :o) 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
<Gilbert> That's what I mean Kb 
<Amazin1> hi, Moo :) 
<kb9kyy> what is the word tootsieroll supposed to be doing? 
<Red_> I've been out shooting pool when a guy breaks and 
    the ball goes flying off the table and hit me, barely, 
    but I went on about my leg, my leg 
<Gilbert> Ha ha, Simon, I've seen that done! 
<jrt> BBL too slow:) 
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<phoenyxx> Gilbert: yes, so much fun :-) 
<kb9kyy> i've taken my mom's glass eye while playing pool, 
    and told the person who almost put my eye out with the 
    damn thing that they really put it out...then hold out the 
    eye 
<Mooooooo> Scripter, a lot here cant see the color because 
    they are on java 
<bubbles> scripter im gay 
<kb9kyy> or ircII 
<kb9kyy> what! 
<Red_> lol 
<bubbles> like hell i am 
<Mooooooo> yea, or IRCii :o) 
<kb9kyy> what does that say without the color? 
<bubbles> i,m married 
<ScripterX> bubbles:And? 
<bubbles> squeak 
<Mooooooo> it was a bunch of M's 
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<kb9kyy> hehe 
<kb9kyy> i saw glow in the dark condoms... 
<Mooooooo> howdy Ray :o) 
<Mooooooo> ok, anyone have any other stories? 
<bubbles> ray 
<kb9kyy> i had my girlfriend blindfold herself once...she 
    had to find her way around, the same as I did...:-) 
<kb9kyy> hehe 
<Ray1> Hi, all, bubbles. 
<phoenyxx> what I also have done that's freaked a few 
    people out is to say 'That building isn't accessable...are 
    Ryder moving trucks stick shift or automatic?...and after a 
    few seconds they get it! :-) 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
<bubbles> ???? 
<Mooooooo> i remember after eye surgery i went a whole 
    week that way 
<Mooooooo> it wasn't fun at all 
<bubbles> too bad if you're blind and scared of the dark 
<Gilbert> Simon, does falling out of the chair count as 
    freaking people out? 
<kb9kyy> blindness isn't fun...except when both partners are 
    'blind' (one is faking it)...makes for one hell of a FUN 
    night...:0) 
<Mooooooo> when my oldest sister had patches on her eyes 
    (she burned them) we gave her all the wrong colors of 
    makeup 
<Mooooooo> blue lipstick 
<phoenyxx> Gilbert: yeah, but that is what my seatbelt is 
    supposed to prevent. 
<Red_> that's mean! 
<Mooooooo> green eye shadow 
<bubbles> clown? 
<bubbles> or slut? 
<Mooooooo> purple blush 
<phoenyxx> you need a seatbelt in a Quickie :-) 
<Mooooooo> she looked like Bozo 
<kb9kyy> how about cutting the seat out of an old chair 
    and standing up in the hollow of the chair, and pretending 
    you don't have legs 
<bubbles> alien 
<kb9kyy> sure 
<bubbles> eddie murphy 
<kb9kyy> i'm outtie... 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
<kb9kyy> http://members.tripod.com/~gjkd/ 
<bubbles> ok 
<Mooooooo> see ya Brad 
<kb9kyy> visit and sign the guestbook 
*** kb9kyy has left irc (going to bed (For Sleep, you nosy perverts!))
<phoenyxx> bad prank there kb9kyy! 
<Mooooooo> i once bandaged up my hand to get out of a 
    test 
<Mooooooo> some teacher found out and called my other 
    teachers... 
<Mooooooo> so during the middle of class, she walks over 
    to my desk, smiles, and starts smacking my bandaged hand 
    on the desk 
<Mooooooo> the other kids in class thought she was nuts 
<bubbles> ha 
<phoenyxx> geez! 
<Ray1> What grade was this, moooo? 
<Mooooooo> 9th i think 
<Mooooooo> its been a long time 
<Red_> I pulled and moved my own stitches 
<Mooooooo> moved them? 
<Red_> most were grossed out by it 
<phoenyxx> about 3 years ago, when I was still at the 
    community college, there was this disabled student in a 
    power chair that kept hassling me and telling the disabled 
    student services office staff that my disability was 
    fraudulent. 
<phoenyxx> so I came up to her one day and told her my 
    Walkman tape player concealed a 
<bubbles> I pretended i lost my voice.... bad news when 
    you forget 
<phoenyxx> an EMP generator :-) 
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*** LitterBox is now known as HelloKit
<Red_> it was under the skin, so just 2 ends were 
    sticking out, about 5 inches apart 
* HelloKit paws at the sand to cover up her business... 
    'There!' 
<HelloKit> Sorry I took so long 
<phoenyxx> in effect I told her that I had a device that 
    would burn the power circuits in her chair if she got too 
    close to me. 
<Mooooooo> LOL, simon 
<phoenyxx> ....no joke, this girl actually steered clear of 
    me after that. one time I saw her peel out in the other 
    direction when 
<bubbles> big business kit? 
<phoenyxx> she saw me pointing the walkman at her! 
<HelloKit> Okay guys, wanna hear some of the ones I came 
    up with? 
<Mooooooo> haha 
<phoenyxx> go carly..... 
<Mooooooo> sure Carly :o) 
<HelloKit> These are a little more twisted... 
<Mooooooo> go for it 
<HelloKit> If you are an amputee, sit in a doctor's 
    waiting room and warn all the patients that he costs an 
    arm and a leg. 
<bubbles> hmmmmm 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
<phoenyxx> bad! :-) 
<Mooooooo> next! 
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<HelloKit> Or, also for amputees... go into a hardware 
    store and make a fuss about how unsafe the chainsaw they 
    sold you is... 
<Mooooooo> ROFL! 
<Mooooooo> Hey Chad :o) 
<phoenyxx> sometimes when someone asks me about my chair I 
    tell them that the intelligence briefing didn't mention this 
    planet's gravity when I was getting ready to come here... 
<bubbles> chad 
<phoenyxx> :-) 
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<bojingles> heya dan 
<bojingles> hola bubbles 
<HelloKit> This one works best if you're in a chair, but 
    still works for anyone... 
<Mooooooo> join on in Chad 
<phoenyxx> true carly :-) 
<HelloKit> Give them your best Mr. Rogers smile and say, 
    'Won't you be my neighbor?' 
<Mooooooo> *whoooosh* 
<Ray1> I've always thought it would be fun to apply for a 
    job with the LAPD-- just to see how far I would get. 
<HelloKit> lol... well that one wasn't that funny I guess. 
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<phoenyxx> if someone really upsets you, hold your bookbag 
    or backpack up and say 'I got this from a Russian friend 
    of mine.....', with a strange look on your face! 
<phoenyxx> :-) 
<HelloKit> lol 
<phoenyxx> Ray1: I thought of doing the same thing with a 
    NASA astronaut application! 
<phoenyxx> you all get the Russian joke? 
<Red_> I tried with the navy 
<Mooooooo> I used to tell people to press their shirt 
    buttons and make a camera click sound when visiting 
    embassies and federal buildings 
<HelloKit> Not entirely, Simon, but it made me laugh. 
<HelloKit> lol 
<Ray1> That's dangerous, moooooo. 
<Mooooooo> then there was the BIG joke.... 
<phoenyxx> Moooooo: one joker I went to an air show with 
    at one of the local bases was actually speaking in a fake 
    foreign accent when we got up to the F-117 Stealth 
    fighter! 
<Gilbert> That sounds worse than joking about b**** in an 
    airport 
<Mooooooo> we would wait at an intersection until the light 
    was just about to turn green..... 
<Mooooooo> then start crossing the street while fliping a 
    coin.... 
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<phoenyxx> Carly: the backpack from a Russian friend 
    joke....a news story a couple of months ago reported that 
    the Russian military had about 100 suitcase sized nuclear 
    bombs turn up missing. 
* bojingles takes a drink of dew!!!!!! 
<Mooooooo> as soon as we got in front of the car or 
    truck, we drop the coin... 
<HelloKit> ah 
<PimpC> whaz up yall???????? 
<Mooooooo> and wave to the driver that we are going down 
    to get the coin... 
<phoenyxx> Gilbert: that is why I rolled away from him and 
    the Stealth plane until he cut it out! 
<Mooooooo> then we crawl around the passenger side of the 
    car and run off 
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<Mooooooo> the light turns green and they never see us 
    come up 
<HelloKit> lol Mooooooo 
<bubbles> hi p 
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<Mooooooo> so they wait, walk around the car over and over 
<Red_> lol 
<PimpC> hello 
<Ray1> those people have NO sense 
<phoenyxx> damn sitcom 'Working' ripped off theme music from 
    'Heavy Metal'! 
<Ray1> sorry. 
<phoenyxx> just saw it on here... 
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<Ray1> I like that, Mooooo 
<PimpC> what was that mooooooo 
<bubbles> hi to all just on 
<HelloKit> Here's one... 
<bojingles> hey man you left out iowa 
<Ray1> don't encourage him. 
<HelloKit> You catch someone staring at you, act like you 
    know them... 'Hey, how are you?! Wow, you're doing so much 
    better!' 
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<phoenyxx> good one carly! 
<Red_> lol 
<Red_> that's a good one 
<Gilbert> I like that one 
<HelloKit> Then there's my friend Jessi... at two yrs. old 
    she saw someone staring at her in the market and said, 
    'Hi, my name is Jessica Aaron. I have arthrogryposis 
    multiplex congenita, what's your problem?' 
<phoenyxx> wow! 
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<PimpC> later yall 
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<Red_> after being asked 'what's wrong with you?'...I 
    respond in a horrid face, 'what happened to you?' 
<HelloKit> lol 
<HelloKit> I like that one. 
<Mooooooo> or say 'leprosy' and give them a big hug 
<Red_> tell them you are contagious 
<HelloKit> When I was little my argument w/ the PT was, 
    'How do you know it's not you who's handicapped and I'm 
    perfectly normal? You could be hurting me.' Of course it 
    never worked, but was worth a shot. 
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<bojingles> 20 hrs and counting until vacation :))))))) 
<Red_> I use to tell people I was run over by an 
    airplane 
<Red_> I had a great story w/it 
<Mooooooo> lol 
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<phoenyxx> I'm left handed so I like to pull up to a 
    computer in class (took my final last week btw :-) ) or 
    at someone else's house and tell them 
<Amazin1> bye all :) take care 
<Red_> they would believe me too! 
<phoenyxx> that the mouse is defective. 
<phoenyxx> :-) 
<PimpC> later 
<Mooooooo> bye denise! 
<phoenyxx> mouse on the right side I mean :-) 
<phoenyxx> bye Denise. 
<HelloKit> heh, my mouse is on the floor 
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<PimpC> a rodent 
<phoenyxx> Carly: sorry about that! 
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<PimpC> sorry also 
<bubbles> wb 
<HelloKit> I just love it when someone has been using it 
    and doesn't put it back down there... I'm banging around 
    w/ my foot, 'Where's the damn mouse?!' 
<jrt> back again:) 
<phoenyxx> Carly- that doesn't damage the mouse? or is it 
    modified? 
<HelloKit> What, you think my foot odor would melt it? ;o) 
<Mooooooo> it gets toejam all over it 
<Red_> well,... 
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* HelloKit slaps Mooooooo with the Biggest Rubber Chicken 
    ever made by Acme and knocks the noodles out of Mooooooo's 
    head.... (Uh, Oh Spaghetti O's) 
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<Red_> ;) 
<phoenyxx> Carly: not what I mean, but a good joke :-) 
<PimpC> how do u do that hellokit?????? 
<bubbles> wb wb 
<HelloKit> It does pick up a lot of fuzz and has to be 
    cleaned often. But I'm not a lead-foot, so... :o) 
<jrt_1> bubbles are you there?? 
<bubbles> yup? 
<jrt_1> did the dishes , think I've found a fast channel, 
    I hope?? 
<jrt_1> good:) 
<PimpC> also let me properly my name is Scott a friend of 
    kb9kyy (brad) 
<bubbles> hope so 
<PimpC> brb checking my e-mail 
<jrt_1> can somebody ping me to see how fast or slow I 
    am?? 
<Mooooooo> *** jrt_1 PING reply] 12 seconds 
<HelloKit> brb 
<PimpC> ok 
<phoenyxx> reply 5 seconds. 
<PimpC> whats up yall???? 
<jrt_1> not bad thanks:) 
<Mooooooo> no more stories? 
<PimpC> what????? 
<Red_> oh, I have one 
<Mooooooo> okay :o) 
<Red_> I asked my girlfriend to clip my toenails for me, 
    she was nervous... 
<jrt_1> I almost killed myself one day when I almost 
    grabbed hold of a bat (flying type) 
<PimpC> brb in 5mins. 
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<Red_> so in the middle of it I screamed 
<Red_> ouch...my toe! 
<HelloKit> The fire department is doing their Christmas 
    parade... gonna have to go watch for a min... I'll be 
    back. 
<Gilbert> A flying bat would be extremely difficult to 
    catch by hand, I mean prohibitively so 
<Red_> I won't tell you what she called me 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
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<Red_> that was the only time she cut my nail! 
<Mooooooo> i cant blame her :o) 
<Mooooooo> hey ricky 
<bubbles> t rax? 
<Rax> Hello Daniel 
<Rax> Meat-a-saurasus? 
<phoenyxx> fire department parade from a Ray Bradbury novel? 
    :-) 
<Red_> I can be that way :) 
<Mooooooo> lol 
<bubbles> the---saurus 
<Red_> what's a girl to do? 
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<phoenyxx> how do you get rid of stolen swords? 
<Mooooooo> parade and book mobile 
<jrt_1> has it gone all quiet or have I slowed down again 
<Gilbert> quiet 
<bubbles> both 
<Rax> neither 
<Rax> :P 
<phoenyxx> good one daniel, glad I'm not the only one who 
    read that one. 
<phoenyxx> :-) 
<Mooooooo> about 20 years ago 
<phoenyxx> now, how do you get rid of stolen swords? 
<phoenyxx> .............. 
<phoenyxx> you fence them! 
<Mooooooo> dont swallow them? 
<Mooooooo> LOL 
<Rax> phoenyxx: ummm, if i had a tomatoe.... :P 
<phoenyxx> how do you trick a city's population into 
    practicing safe sex? 
<phoenyxx> ................................. 
<jrt_1> I'm getting sick of being this slow:( 
<phoenyxx> a Trojan Horse. 
<Mooooooo> ROFL!!!! 
<bubbles> what did st. peter say to princess dianna at the 
    pearly gates? 
<phoenyxx> what? 
<Mooooooo> ? 
<bubbles> wipe that merc off your face 
<phoenyxx> geez! 
<Gilbert> Doh! 
<Mooooooo> oh bad :o) 
<Rax> I don't get it. 
<bubbles> bad huh? 
<Rax> :) 
<Red_> ? 
<Red_> lol 
<bubbles> merc is short for mercedes benz 
<phoenyxx> this girl at Stanford University (in california) 
    was caught drawing a pentagram on her dorm room floor and 
    chanting 'I summon thee'. Her roomate said to her, 
<Red_> first one I have heard 
<Rax> The people i work with pronounce mIRC as 'merc' 
    anyone else find that weird? 
<phoenyxx> 'Chelsea, you have to use the phone to call 
    your father'. 
<bubbles> what did michael hutchenson's past girlfriends say 
    about him? 
<Mooooooo> LOLOLO 
<Mooooooo> L 
<bubbles> haaaaa 
<bubbles> he was well hung+ 
<phoenyxx> ack! bad one! 
<jrt_1> what did the hurrican say to the coconut tree??? 
<Rax> ummm 
<Red_> lol 
<Rax> heh 
<phoenyxx> the worst jokes I've ever heard though were the 
    ones 12 years ago after the Challenger disaster. 
<bubbles> i dont makem i just tellum 
<phoenyxx> time for me to go...later everyone! :-) 
<Rax> Bad humor is bad for the karma 
<Mooooooo> nite Simon 
<bubbles> and the dogma 
<jrt_1> hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one 
    hell of a blow job 
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<bubbles> bye 
<Mooooooo> lol 
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<bubbles> haaaa 
<Gilbert> mIRC = Merc, yeah, I've heard that too 
<Red_> I love good sick jokes 
<Red_> lol 
*** LOG CLOSED: Wed Dec 17 19:02:38 1997