Intimacy and Paralysis-People in Relationships

[shameka]

About a year go I ended a six year relationship with a guy that had severe CP and I have Spina Bifida and I little to no feeling below my waist so sex was never and still isn't on my top ten things to do which was always issue an our relationship so I just wondering on other people that are married, in long time relationships and have paralysis of some sort handle this is there any resources, books etc. That you have used to help you I have read one book on the topic but I have not been able to find much more

[Daniel]

You want to buy The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness.

Daniel

[shameka]

Thank You Daniel

[Tigger]

To my experience, many times it is about creating an intimate moment or memory rather than engaging in sexual intercourse...

There are many other sensual areas of the body and sometimes it is just nice to explore these in a playful way without having to take things further.  The key is not to be selfish, if your partner does have a lack of sensitivity or feeling in the most typical sexual areas, be willing to explore where else may "do it" for them but also at the same time make sure they reciprocate.

I myself find it incredibly exhilarating when somebody nuzzles into my neck, tickling, caressing, nuzzling and biting will make my toes curl.

Sometimes things simply do not need to even go this far to create an intimate moment, sometimes planning an evening of intimate moments, fun moments can be incredibly romantic. 
For example sometimes I will join my wife in the kitchen, even though I cannot physically cook myself, I may have previously researched a recipe, made sure we have the correct ingredients and cook vicariously through her, with her , in way if that makes any sense? Taste testing along the way, contributing to it by saying it needs a little more salt, maybe a little more garlic, that kind of thing.
Then we would eat our meal that we created together, together! I prefer quietly but followed by a romantic comedy and some cuddling.

Planning special evenings like this may sometimes lead to something more, sometimes they may not, but at least you have created a wonderful intimate evening in the process.

It would be interesting to know if anyone else has little clients or ideas to create intimate moments like this?

[Tigger]

Enabling Romance is a book my wife and I read together and found to be quite helpful, my wife actually found it while we were still dating.

Also I found the following link to be quite helpful and have had it bookmarked for several years now.

http://www.scisexualhealth.com/index.html

[davidj]

I want to thank Tigger for his word on the subject "To my experience, many times it is about creating an intimate moment or memory rather than engaging in sexual intercourse..." I do enjoy sex, or at least the effort of stimulation by both parties. However, just having a woman around to share things, places and goals can be fun. So I only get a little feel,  kiss or two during the evening, that is better than nothing. I am a champagne drinker in San Diego.

[shameka]

Thank you tigger and david for your comments they are very helpful

[Loco]

I totally agree with tigger when it comes to the intimacy it could be a simple kiss on the neck that will send shivers throughout your body but saying that I am a quadriplegic and I do still have feeling in that certain area so I still do enjoy intercourse, but that is not all what intimacy is about.

His description of a intimate evening with his wife making dinner and watching a movie and maybe a little something something afterwards is a great description of a intimate evening with a loved one.  You say you have no feeling from the waist down I believe but that is not the only erogenous areas on your body your neck, ears, breast and so on and so on all depends on you can be very sexually stimulating just by touching and kissing these areas.  And to be completely honest I find that the act of intercourse is not as satisfying as a night of exploring and enjoying each other by simply exploring each other and just having fun.

And if you are with someone who wants to have intercourse and you are not that into it because of not having sensation sometimes satisfying your mate will bring you satisfaction knowing that you have done that for them and in return you may find things you enjoy that they can do in return for you to make both of your life's more fulfilling.

[davidj]

LOCO, your a show-off bear!
LOL